Mini Guide

Consiglio: When you invite someone to your house “for dinner” specify whether that means ordering in or cooking/providing dinner.

Consiglio del giorno che ti può essere utile:

There are a lot of newly unemployed people in the world who cannot afford to split ordering takeout anymore. If you clarify what you mean by “come around for dinner” as “come around and we can order some dinner” or “come around I’m cooking …” it will give the person invited the ability to answer in a way that doesn’t make them feel bad.

For example, if you say you’re cooking then they probably have something to bring something from home which is not a huge cost. Or if you say let’s order takeout, they then can either go knowing they will need to factor in that spending, or say “I’m just having dinner at my place but I’ll pop over right after”.

A friend of mine did this to me recently (we’re allowed to visit friends where I live because we have no active cases) and she invited me around for dinner to celebrate us not being stuck in our houses anymore. I lost my job 8 weeks ago, she didn’t. When we hang out it’s normally either I cook, she cooks, or we order takeout (which we always split).

When I arrived it was clear that she was not making dinner, which from the wording of her text implied she was. She then stated that she had ordered our usual takeout order and informed me that my half was $35. Now I don’t think she in anyway meant to put me in an awkward spot, it was totally normal for her to do this, but she clearly forgot I lost my job and can no longer afford takeout.

It really stressed me out because I had to take the money out of my groceries budget and transfer it to her. I’m sure if I told her any of this she would be mortified but it’s just not a conversation you wanna have when you’re already feeling low about losing your job. Had I know what she meant when she said “do you want to come around for dinner” I would have just eaten at home right before and said I didn’t need dinner.

So just a little tip, if you invite someone around for dinner in this time of heavy job loss, maybe just clarify what that means so the person doesn’t have to prod for more info and disclose they can’t afford to order in.