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Women in their 30s, how has life gotten better?

I’ve really started to discover who I am as a person and what I want to do with my life. There’s been a lot of turmoil, especially in the last year, but now I’m on a much better path for myself. Will be 36 in July.

As a 25 year old going through a quarter life crisis, this thread gives me hope!!

I think now I have a better understanding of who I am as a person and a stronger sense of what I am happy to tolerate with people around me.

In my early 20’s I was so wrapped up with what people thought of me that I got stuck in a violent relationship that nearly killed me. I was so ashamed that people would think I was weak and pathetic that I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone. Thankfully I got out of it and over the past few years learnt that I don’t have to ever be ashamed.

Since then my life has blossomed, friendships are stronger, I’m climbing the career ladder and I’m now in a relationship where I feel loved and protected.

So yeah pretty fucking good to be 32 right now!

  1. Better money. Finally lived alone, no roommates, and in nice buildings.

  2. Better hobbies — in my 20s I was like a puppy dog following people around trying to do what they do, but in my 30s I know what I like and I just do that. I finally had the money to take an adult gymnastics classses and so I spend my time doing more backflips and with better form than I ever did in my teens! In my 20s I either didn’t have the money or I was so worried what people would think if I took those classes. Now I don’t even care. One of my classes had a bunch of teenagers in it and, while they were far more limber and better at flipping than I am, having teenagers in my class was a non-issue. I doubt they were looking down on me and even if they were I wouldn’t care ?‍♀️

  3. Dating is better. Yeah, I said it. My whole life I was taught that at 30 dating becomes the worst thing evarrrrr and men only want to chase 22yos (ever hear the expression “Dating after 30 is like looking for parking spots — all the good ones are taken or handicapped.”) But I found that online dating improved drastically for me at 30. I had way fewer matches . WAAAAAY FEWER. Those men who only want to date 22yos, I’m sure they exist, but I’ll never see them at 30 because they will never match with me, so it’s a non-issue. The few guys I did match with tended to be of high quality and lo and behold I did not meet my now-husband until well after I had crossed the 30 mark. I didn’t have to “settle” for some shlub i don’t love — my husband is 300 times better than any guy I ever even met in my 20s, let alone dated.

That said, I don’t recommend waiting until you’re in your 30s to start dating — more options in your 20s is generally a good thing and if you want biological kids you better not wait till you’re 30 to start thinking about meeting a mate. But if you haven’t found “the one” by 30 it is not the end of the world and the people who use that expression about “parking” tended to be older and came of age in a different time, like the 70s where you were a leper if you weren’t married by 25. It’s not the 70s. It’s not the 80s. It’s the 2020s and life is very different than what adults told me about when I was growing up.

Money, good job (and not afraid of moving in if needed) I know what I want. More confidence. I guess it’s just maturing, learning from experiences, having kids also changes your outlook in life too.

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