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You have to hunt down and kidnap your doppelganger. He looks, smells, thinks, and acts exactly like you. How do you lure yourself?

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You have to hunt down and kidnap your doppelganger. He looks, smells, thinks, and acts exactly like you. How do you lure yourself?

Ed ecco le risposte:

Easy, that guy is dumb as fuck. He walks his dog the same time every single morning.

I pretend to have committed suicide, because he would be at my funeral thinking he won, then I open the coffin and grab him.

I follow her to Starbucks. I’m in disguise. I’ve made a very convincing fake book titled “Jim Bob Get Ready to Lose Your Job: a Derick Dillard Tell-All” that I’ve brought with me. I “accidentally” leave it on the hand off plane after I grab my mobile order and leave. She sees it while she’s waiting for her drink. She picks it up and decides to stay and give it a read. It’s the best fan fiction I’ve ever written but she gobbles it up like a biography. Her cold brew has got to her. She rushes to the bathroom. I returned to the store just moments before and am hiding in the bathroom- the one furthest away from the cafe so it’s even less likely that someone will hear her explosively shitting herself. She doesn’t see me as she’s checking to make sure the door is locked for the 5th time. But I’m there, right behind her, ready to attack.

That dumb bastard is so lonely right now all it’d take to capture him is a fresh pizza, a round of MTG, and conversation about his little hobbies.

Chickie nuggies