My bf and I have been together almost a year. And I’ve known his friends roughly that long as well.
He has a female friend who he works with and I’ve gotten to know her too.
At first I was kinda jealous because I can tell he used to have a bit of a crush on her but ultimately I trust him and I don’t think anything would ever happen between them.
She and I chat a lot on instagram and at a social gathering we would talk for hours.
We actually have a lot in common and I think she’s cool.
A few days ago it was her birthday and I saw something in a shop that I knew she’d love so I got it for her. It wasn’t crazy expensive or anything . A fairly normal kinda gift.
I mentioned it to my boyfriend and he said that I didn’t have to get her anything and he seemed kinda annoyed.
I told him that I wanted to, because I like getting gifts.
He then told me that I shouldn’t “feel the need to get his friends presents”.
I said that she’s my friend too and he just dropped it.
Does anyone have any suggestions for why this would cause annoyance?
Tldr: I got my boyfriends female friend a birthday gift because her and I have become friends but he was annoyed and said I didn’t have to get “his friend” a gift – so confused as to why?
My first thoughts were:
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“Oh damn, I’m going to look like a putz if my girlfriend gets my friend a gift for her birthday and I just send her a happy birthday meme via text.”
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“My girlfriend is getting waaaay too friendly with my friend who I secretly liked and she doesn’t know the history involved. Shoot, if they get closer, my friend will tell her about my drunken texts asking to hook up last year! Uhhhh, how do I avoid this!?”
The second one may be from frequenting this sub too often.
My primary guess is that you stepping up to getting her a gift makes him feel awkward for not planning to do so, and scrambling to get one now.
It sounds like he doesn’t wanna share friends, lol. He considers her his friend first, I guess. But in the title you call her his friend too. I guess you should refer to her as “our friend”.
What comes to mind is maybe he’s not happy with you two being this close, and the gift is a reminder of the closeness of your relationship with her.
So maybe it’s not really about the gift “you don’t have to get her a gift”, rather than your relationship “you don’t have to be this nice to her” or “you don’t have to be this friendly with her”.
That would have been brewing for some time.
I don’t know, just a shot in the dark.
>he used to have a bit of a crush on her
>She and I chat a lot on instagram and at a social gathering we would talk for hours
He’s jealous that she likes you more than she likes him.
He seems jealous that you got her a gift, because he is protective of his relationship with her and doesn’t want you to outshine him even though you’re his girlfriend and she’s his friend.