MY GF[25f] and me[24m] having been seeing each other for around a year now. Now before i start i think that she has an absolutely gorgeous body that i am absolutely in love with and she is honestly one of the best things to happen to me. She recently came out and told me she feels a little uncomfortable around me because she thinks i think she is fat and unattractive which couldn't be further from the truth. She had previously claimed a few months prior that i never touched her stomach because it was in her words 'fat' and 'disgusting' and i reassured her this wasn't the case at all and i just didn't really see the appeal in touching someones stomach. However after this i had made an extra effort to try and touch her stomach when cuddling and things like that.
A few weeks ago she brought up the subject of how she is still uncomfortable around me and that i never touch any fat parts of her body. Me being the stupid guy i am said yes i do and went on to list her stomach, bum and boobs in that order. By her reaction i instantly realised what i had said and it ended in a stream of tears for both of us.
A few weeks have passed and naturally she has been being a little distant which i thought was strange because it isn't like her but today she told me she wants to end things with me because she feels uncomfortable around me. In all honesty, i didn't react the best way i could but quickly came to my senses and saw her point of view and i do completely get it. She says that she still really loves me but cannot move past it right now and in the future we may be able to be together again but she cannot promise anything. This whole thing is especially heartbreaking because i think she is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen and i would do anything to be back with her.
I would also like to add this isn't the first time i have said something about her weight. I once was looking in the mirror and said i was gaining a bit of weight and she said ye but i'm huge compared to you and i stupidly half listening to her agreed. This was just an automatic response and in no way did i mean anything by it because she is in no way anyway bigger than me.
i am in absolute pieces typing this post and wondering if anyone has any advice for me to not just win her back but also make her see how i truly feel about her body so that she gains her confidence back.
**TL;DR;** : I accidentally said that my girlfriend has belly fat and then she dumped me. what can i do make her see that i love her body
From the sounds of it, she is insecure about her weight, and I’m not sure what else you or anyone else can say differently. I suspect in her next relationship she will have the same issues unless she finds someone who weighs more than her. I’m sorry that happened. She should go to therapy and work on that.
This is her personal issues and insecurities running rampant. She projects all her negative self talk and shame onto you, sets you up, and then attacks you. It is not fair and not a healthy way to treat a partner. You actually have a right to be ups set and angry over this treatment you know. You can set your foot down and rather guide a partner towards dealing properly with their issues (with your support) and to not make the personal issues into relationship issues.
It sounds to me like self sabotaging behavior from her side. Which can be worrisome. This level of shame and pushing you away isn’t a sign of her punishing herself, is it? Does she have good support otherwise?
So she complained that you never touch her fat parts and you said that you do touch her stomach and she said “how dare you??” and split?
That sounds like it’s beyond your ability to control. You didn’t do anything wrong and either she has major body issues or was looking for a reason to break up, possible to enjoy the attention of you trying to win her back.
Your girlfriend seems to have self-esteem issues that she’s grappling with. That’s outside your control.
Especially if she keeps creating these conversations with you about her weight, and shuts down if you ever say anything that agrees with her.
It was probably never going to work out, because she was constantly setting traps for you, even if she probably didn’t realize that’s what she was doing or intend to do it.
She set you up to get an answer that would hurt her feelings and she got it. She’s insecure and blaming you instead of dealing with her own insecurities instead of talking to a therapist.