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I’m trans (35FtM). I’ve had a female friend (37F) for the last 9 years, but now we’ve started getting closer after staying together during quarantine. I transitioned at 22 before I knew her and nobody I’m not out to anyone I currently know. How do I tell her?

Pride month starts next week, what timing! 🙂 Perhaps you could use that to segue into a conversation?

I can understand your hesitation. But, frankly, what’s in your pants is absolutely none of her business until you want to take them off for her!! And that time has only recently arrived!

I appreciate that you want to take her feelings into account. Your replies have been thoughtful and it sounds like you’re pretty emotionally intelligent. You’ve got a great toolbox to start this conversation with her.

I hope this word vomit from a queer cis woman helps at least a little.

Dude, you really should have said something before it got intimate, what were you thinking???

However you chose to tell her, I think the timing is very important. You need to say something before you’re intimate again. If you are interested in pursuing something further I’d roll that into the same conversation so all your cards are on the table. Feel free PM me if you’re stuck and need more advice than you’re able to get from this post.

It’s really disrespectful of you to engage with her physically before letting her know. You need to be honest with her, immediately. As to the ‘how,’ you sit down and tell her. Apologize for not telling her sooner and hope she’s ok with it.