Relazioni e amore

My husband (50M) and I (46F) am convinced our son (18M) is trying to get us sick with COVD-19

Mr_Kuchikopi ci racconta la sua esperienza amorosa:

First time poster on MassimoL so trying to follow the generally accepted format.

My husband (50M) and I (46F) live in Atlanta. We both are immunosuppressed, my husband has had severe myocarditis for the past 3 years and I have had a chronic lung problem since birth. When we heard COVID-19 was rapidly spreading and that we were a threatened demographic, we quickly decided to stock up on supplies and be prepared to shelter-in-place for the foreseeable future.

Our son (18M) is a freshman at a New York university. With his university closing its residence halls and all of his friends returning back to their families, he had no other choice but to return home. Our son was not entirely thrilled at the prospect of spending more time together as we've had significant disagreements in the past leading to some extreme reactions. Many times during high school he threatened to run away for good or, worse, harm himself in front of us. We've taken him to a variety of psychologists and therapists to try and get him help. Some diagnose him with bipolar disorder, others with dissociative identity disorder, and others have said he is completely fine.

We prepared for his return with a basement room to allow for his 2 weeks of quarantine to prevent infecting us and shipped him masks and gloves for his flight back home. When he returned, he was not wearing his mask or gloves and refused to wash his hands when he entered the house. Arguing with us claiming that the disease was all just a hoax, he – perhaps out of spite – joked about touching us and potentially infecting us. Arguing some more, he agreed to the 2 weeks of quarantine.

It has been about 3 weeks since he's arrived back and our argument have gotten worse, as I'm sure many families have with being stuck in the same house and getting some cabin-fever. During his quarantine he would routinely complain about being downstairs and isolated and would insist on coming up to be with us and physically interact with us. We let him upstairs of course – he's not a prisoner – but kept our distance and refused any sort of physical contact. We remind him that this is dangerous for us and for him and that he should quarantine for 2 weeks at least, then be with us.

Many times at night I would hear loud coughing coming from downstairs. My husband was asleep so he couldn't hear, but it kept me up most of the night. For the past couple of weeks, my son has been complaining about a lack of freedom, claiming that we don't give him enough money to explore the world and be young. We have both explained to him that he is 18, and that the world is on hold so and that there is nothing he can expect wait. In one of our many arguments, he treated to cough on us and deliberately get us sick. My husband and I both assumed that it was just his usual adolescent protests.

Last night I heard more intense raspy coughing coming from downstairs. I decided to see if my son needed any help. Instead, I saw him coughing and spitting all over our kitchen counter tops wiping everything across all surfaces of the items we use on a daily basis, coffee machine, fridge eg. Instead of confronting him, something felt extremely wrong and I began to fear for my safety. I have spoken to my husband about this today without our sons knowledge. We are both very concerned for our safety as we are not sure whether to find another place to live, to call the police or perhaps find some other route.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Is he a beneficiary in your will? Sounds like he fancies that money to see the world.

This isn’t really about the virus but more about your son being a brat. Give him an ultimatum. Stop giving you guys shit or get out.

Sorry your son sounds like a little dickhead …

Kick him out … his behavior is immature,insensitive and he is purposely trying to cause stress, anguish and endangerment to you both.

He also sounds mega ungrateful, with zero regards for your safety .
You shouldn’t feel at risk at your own home while following the recommended Guidelines …

Does the basement have its own entrance ? If you rather not kick him out then i would let him stay downstairs with zero access to the area you both live ..

Also let him know you have made family aware and if something was to happen others have been informed …

He’s a legal adult now, you and your husband are under no obligation to let him stay there. Not sure how far you’d get pressing charges but you can definitely kick his ungrateful ass out. Even if it is just a tent in the yard.

  1. If you don’t have a will, I would start on that right away and only make it known to him after it’s all settled that he will not benefit from your deaths. If I were you, I would rather my estate go to charity than to someone who did not care for my health and is actively working to make me sick.

  2. If there any way you can set him up with living quarters in the basement with no access to the upstairs? It’s very concerning what he has been doing while you two were asleep. Doesn’t matter if he claims it’s unfair. He lost any privileges by deliberately spitting and coughing on every surface.

  3. Look into and start a legal eviction as soon as this lockdown is lifted.

You should be concerned for your safety. Your son has shown a lack of empathy and compassion to you and your husband. He acts like you being alive is preventing him from living his best life.