(Using a friends account and apologies if my post is long or out of place)
I am a single father and have been since my daughter was born. My daughter was born when I was 20 and her mother left after giving birth and told we spoke of how we wanted to raise our daughter but she left due to cultural differences and her families conservative views. I turned alcoholic, had no job, no motivation in life and couldnt handle my wife leaving. We married without her familys knowledge. My family also disowned me when my daughter was born.
My daughter is now 22 and studying out of the city, we had a rough time during her early years. However, we managed. I now am pretty well off, I'm good health wise and I stopped drinking. My daughter turned out great, shes the sweetest and kindest person ever. She has ambition and she loves wholeheartedly. She has mild anxiety due to me being a fuck up when she was younger but I believe she has grown from it as have I.
When my wife left, she told me she didn't know if she would come back but had to go. I think it would be good to mention she was South Asian and i am white. Her family was pretty much against our relationship as soon as they found out. We tried to convince them and give them time but it was impossible. We were together for three years and i know it sounds foolish, even today but I loved her with all my heart and I gave up with trying to fill the hole after she left. When she left, her family did the typical her father is sick, come home and see him, youre his only daughter stuff. Her dad was sick. But he was not as serious as they made him out to be. He got better and he never let his daughter leave again. I never saw her again. They moved, changed their phones and removed all forms of me getting in contact. But I tried everything.
When my daughter turned 5, she contacted me. She told me her father is marrying her off and she's trying to get out but cant. They had restrictions on her even five years later. She said she was giving up and knew i would raise our daughter well. But she will always try to come home because home was where we were. I replied back and got a response from her brother a few months later with filthy swears and threats, saying my wife is dead.
My daughter knows she left because her family never wanted us to be together and died a few years later. My daughter used to cry for her. She stopped asking questions about her mother, completely. We dont talk about her often.
Anyway, I've been alone since she left. I tried dating again when I turned 30 but it didnt work out. After so many failed attempts, I gave up and just lived life single. Raising my daughter and trying to secure her future.
My wife? (Is she even still my wife, I dont know) contacted me last week. Said shes in NY and shes divorced and has no children. She still loves me and wants to meet our daughter. Her brother lied. She holds a special part in my life still, I cant lie. But I just dont know how to react. Its been 22 years. I responded to her and we talked casually about life. She said she understands if we dont want to meet her and would never force the interaction. Just to think about it. As soon as the lockdown is over, she was going to return to England.
I know I have to tell my daughter that her mother is still alive and she wants to meet her. Whether my daughter does or doesn't, is her decision. She's old enough for this.
But I just cant wrap my head around this. My wife is alive. I love her. But shes probably a different woman now so I love the wife I had 20 years ago. I dont know her anymore?
Im so confused and i dont know how to bring it up to my daughter. She is currently stressed with exams so maybe i should wait? How do i go about this, rightfully, by my daughter?
Thank you if you read this all.