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Librarians of Internet, what’re some weird things that happened at your library?

Not a librarian, but while studying at the school library (university, freshman year) I heard what I thought was someone moaning in pain a couple book stacks away from me. My dumbass went to go check it out. Turn round the corner to find a dude with his pants fully off getting a BJ from a girl with a skirt but little else. Never checked out weird noises in the library again.

Probably Lancelot invading the library to steal our relics with the Serpent Brotherhood. After that we just had the annex, and I’m not sure if that counts.

Not an actual librarian, but I sit up at the desk to check out books for other students at my college.

Was sitting behind the desk, minding my own business. Two socially inept looking fellows were playing some kind of Dungeons & Dragons style tabletop game in a lounge corner beside the checkout station. They’re pretty strange looking, but they’re being quiet so I don’t pay them much attention.

Their volume starts to increase as they start becoming upset with each other about something that had just happened with their game. Something about a dexterity roll. I used to play D&D, so I listened in.

One of the guys stood up, bestiary book in hand, and clocked the other dude in the head with it. Other guy falls to the ground. Homie puts the book under his arm and started shrieking at the dude he just laid out on the ground before running out of the library.

I’ve never thought being librarian was so fucking hard…

In college, there was a jerk off bandit they were trying to catch. He’d jerk off in the shadows then run up to asian females to finish on the desk.