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What slogans should the top brands have if they were brutally honest?

Ramen: the minimum requirement to be considered food

Taco Bell: where else was your drunk ass going to go?

Bud Lite: it can’t taste bad if it doesn’t taste like anything, and it does technically contain alcohol.

Smirnoff: somewhat more socially acceptable than straight drinking hand sanitizer.

Google: yeah we know

Disney: We will keep making remakes if you keep paying us