Women of Internet, how did you overcome your fear of intimate relationships, and how did you find “the one”?

A friend told be about attachment theory and I realized I was highly avoidant. Most literature I read suggested therapy to help learn secure attachment so I would stop unconsciously sabotaging my relationships.

For me, the right guy just had to come along. I would date a little but never get attached or really feel myself commit at all. If my friends were doing literally anything, I’d come up with an excuse and go to them instead. I never wanted anyone to meet my family. Then I become friends with the guy I’m now seeing and we slowly ended up dating. I don’t know what happened, but deep within me I just knew he was the one and all that behaviour stopped. Of course I still make time for my friends and family and individual hobbies, but now he is an actual priority. I not only see a future with him, but actively plan one. He is my rock, my partner in all things and we are a team. I wish I had a better answer for you, but for me it was really just the right man coming along and diving in head first for him.

Seems like a mundane answer but therapy and the right person. Therapy allowed me to dive deep down into why I was afraid of physical touch and intimacy while being with the right partner made me become more open with touch.

Actually, I stopped thinking I would ever find “the one” after a toxic relationship and about half a year later, I connected with a man who was the perfect one for me. He practically skateboarded into my life and we’ve been together for 3 years now. Some people don’t believe in “the one” or soulmates but sometimes you just know when they are yours.

Mr. WineAndDogs2020 and I don’t believe in “the one” or soul mates. We believe there are a number of people out there who we could have ended up happy with, and we were very fortunate to find each other because we are extremely compatible.

First part doesn’t fit me.. but on a similar note I’ve had healing to do with body autonomy and the right to say no. It took a good man to respect my non verbal cues, and later my verbal ones.

This good man I met at work, and we became fast good friends. We learned how to work as a team, and ask for help. Developed silent communication. Had the same people on our shit list. He’d watch my back, and I his. One day I saw his eyes twinkling at me with this devilish smile, and all the sudden the friendship started feeling not quite enough. About a month later we started dating. We have a baby.

We get into arguments sometimes now too. Mostly me fighting for baby girl, and him upset about one thing or another. I usually fight for others more than me. But when I get mad he lets me express it through writing because it’s more comfortable for me, and tries to remain calm with me. I love him so much. He is my second favorite human. First is baby girl.