Inexcusable. Turn him into a fat fuck that’s single.
????? No. Just, NO.
Look. You’ve already started reciprocating this horrid behavior, which I would hope is out of character for you, and that to me is much worse. Once a bad person (& your boyfriend is a TERRIBLE person) causes you to stoop to their level, it’s time to cut them off, end it, and most importantly; get real help.
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This is ABUSE. I’m pretty sure you’re being groomed for much worse, especially compensation for the idea that he “can’t hit you” suggests that he wants to hit you and that it’s only a matter of time.
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You’re going to feel like a hypocrite once you’ve gotten even and ultimately make excuses for both your behaviors. Thus perpetuating the cycle. Please, Get The Fuck Outta There. Now.
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What you lose in integrity, self-respect, and faith in who you are or what you deserve will take years to undo if you don’t treat this like the MAJOR problem it is. So please, end it, get help, and do not get back with that person until they’ve been cleared by professionals.
The casual racism, degrading, implied threats, verbal abuse, and just overall toxicity is dehumanizing. Strive to uphold the notion that your humanity, individuality, and womanhood are sacred things. Never compromise on respect for yourself and the reciprocal within any relationship. Just. No.
You should break up with your shitty boyfriend and find a guy who can manage his emotions healthily. I’m sorry you’ve been subjected to his verbal abuse for as long as you have. Him talking to you like that is a whole fuckin handful of red flags and his behavior will escalate over time. Get a friend or family member and dump him publicly or over the phone coz this guy has some serious anger issues and you don’t sound fully safe with him. Good luck!