When my boyfriend is angry at me he will say awful things. He’s called me a bitch, cunt, psychopath, pig, a n*gger, paki etc. My boyfriend tells me thats how he expresses his anger because he can’t “hit me”. He says those words don’t mean anything and I shouldn’t take them seriously. (I’m middle eastern and he’s white btw)
Today he got mad at me and called me a “fucking bitch”. I told him calmly not to call me that because I’m his girlfriend and he shouldn’t talk to me like that. He got mad and said he can say whether he wants and then called me a cunt. I honestly got so offended that I called him a “fat fuck”, a “fatty” and told him to lose weight.
I know what I said was wrong and I regret it…he’s gained weight and I normally don’t make fun of peoples appearances. He just doesn’t understand that he shouldn’t call me terrible names but he still does.
What should I do?
“He expresses his anger because he can’t “hit me” “
This alone is a worrying thing to hear. He is justifying the way he speaks to you by telling you his standard reaction when he is angry with someone is to hit them, this is not ok OP.
What happens when he decides that his words aren’t enough to express his anger anymore?
That’s abuse. He is abusive and apparently a racist as well. Do not stay with someone like that. No matter what kind of disagreement you may be having, it is absolutely never appropriate to speak to your partner in that way. Screaming is never appropriate, let alone the horrible insults and racial slurs. You need to date someone who can calmly and diplomatically work through issues with you in a respectful manner. He is immature. It’s incredibly sick to say “well I’m calling you a c*nt but at least I’m not hitting you!” Yeah let’s give you a fucking award for that! Hell no. You need to leave him.
This isn’t ok, you deserve better. This is a form of abuse. It feels wrong because it is wrong.
I wish you much luck! <3
Extremely abusive relationship. Leave ASAP and work on yourself and hope he does the same. No mature man would ever even speak of hitting you
You need therapy