Me 25yF am leaving my 35yM boyfriend. There's a long story to this but I'll keep it short.
My boyfriend and I haven't had the best sexual relationship. We've f*cked multiple times but I could tell he was having some issues down there the very last time we did it which was over a year and a ahalf ago.
When i asked him about it he said it was “depression” getting the best of him. So i wanted to give him space. Im a very kind, patient, empathetic and understanding of his situation. I didn't bring it up again. I'm not the “naggy” type so I let him work it out on his own. Always reassuring him I was there and he could talk to me.
His grandfather died a couple years before I met him and he lived with the guy his whole life. He was devastated. Then his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer a year before I met him. His mother passed away in January of this year.
A month ago he had really bad abdominal pain. We went to the er and he had a perforated bowel. Instantly rushed him off to surgery. He gave me his phone wallet. Etc.
A year ago I had the strange gut feeling to go through his phone and see what he was doing. He was being very secretive and distant with his phone. But I gas lit myself and told my self I was crazy.. so I never actually went through his phone.
While he's under for the emergency surgery. I look through his phone to find that he had been cheating on me for a year. He was sexting, meeting, and f*cking this chick. She was well aware of the fact he had a girlfriend too. I was devastated.
Now a month after the surgery I've been taking care of him hand and foot, paying the bills, taking care of our animals, chores etc. Trying to make things work but I just cant.
He's more than capable enough to go back to work and take of himself
But I've put my two weeks in and I'm leaving to Oregon in 4 days. I haven't told him I'm leaving him. And I'm only taking my cats I got before I met him, along with my dog that I bought way long before I met him. He'll still have his 3 original dogs.
How do I tell him I'm blowing this popsicle stand?
Tdlr: my boyfriend went into emergency surgery and I went through his phone. Saw he cheated on me for a while. After a month of trying to make this work and taking care of him hand and foot. I'm leaving to Oregon in 4 days and don't know how to tell him
I don’t think he deserves a heads up to be honest.
I’m so glad you are taking your pets with you.
Go forth and live a great life.
I wouldn’t bother to be honest. I’d just be like ‘oh vets visit for jabs’ and fucj right off having blocked his number.
He’s been cheating for a year, the side chick can come wait on him hand and foot. Not your responsibility anymore.
Just say, “Bah bye.” Don’t look back.
You can do what I’ve done before. Packed all my stuff while he at work and left him a note and dipped. It was so perfect.
You don’t owe him anything, supporting him whilst he was post surgery is more than what most people would have done. Just leave, let him figure it out.
Text him once you’re in Oregon.
Thank you all so much for the support. Just to give you a little more details. I dont want to be an asshole, I really wanna be the bigger person. He’s not working, so he is constantly at home, and his car doesn’t work, so he can’t really go anywhere. I’m stuck with him till September 3rd, basically. All I have to do is pay a speeding ticket (my first one ever, lol). my last day of work is this Saturday, sep 2nd.
EDIT: He’s already aware that I know he cheated
OP, you did far more than many would have by staying and caring for him while his cheating ass recovered from surgery. Leave him a note saying you couldn’t get over his cheating and enjoy yourself in Oregon.