Relazioni e amore

I [22 M] had sex with my best friend [22 F] and now I’m confused

Chocohobbit ci racconta la sua esperienza amorosa:

Long story short, I met this girl, 6 years ago.
The moment I met her I fell in love, everyone loved her, but she was way out of my league (at that moment) so I never mentioned it to her

We got along so well that we became best friends, even tho I loved her for the first 3 years. After that, I just stopped thinking about her in that way, and started loving her on a friendly way

Since then we’ve been like brother and sister, helping each other with anything. I friend zoned her & she friend zoned me. We had several conversations about how we were never going to cross that line, and joked about it. (The perfect friendship uh)

Yesterday I invited her to my house to celebrate the end of the lockdown, we planned to drink alcohol, sing, play games and talk about life (things we usually do when we hang out)
But it was the first time she was staying to sleep.

She came home, we cooked, talked and drank.
At one moment she went to the bathroom to take a bath, she called me because the water was too hot, and the next thing I know is that we were having the best sex I ever had, we had so much fun and laughed about it the next day, we agreed that it was a weird situation but that we enjoyed it.

She left at night after a long pool day, we hug each other, we joke about how we got to know each other in a deeper way, and the she leaves.

We haven’t texted since then (3 days)
And now I have an inner feeling that something is wrong, I don’t want to text her because I don’t want her to think that I’m trying to flirt or that I’m being needy… I also feel like I want to be with her more than usual, I just feel like something bad will happen to our great friendship because of this, and I’m so scared that things won’t be the same
What do you guys think, sorry for the long post (phone)

Tl;dr: Had sex with best friend and things got weird, I don’t understand my emotions


Okay guys, I wanna thank you all for your support.
I forgot to tell you that she’s been in an unofficial relationship with a guy for 1 year, she’s very very liberal, and she thinks love and sex are two different things, that’s why she fucks other guys.
So it’s not as easy as “tell her what you feel and you might end up dating”

I just texted her something like, do you remember the name of the song that we were listening to last night?
And after that we kept chatting like we used to (nothing about the sex part)

So everything is alright, I still feel emotionally lost because I have to recalibrate my brain to “Just friends mode” but at least I know that our friendship goes well

Thanks once again, and sorry for not being able to respond to your comments!
If something interesting happens, I will let you know.


Text her right now, then come back and tell us what happened.

Go for it. She likes you that’s why she shot her shot and you playing it off as a mistake is like you rejected her and she’s embarrassed. Based on your last two sentences you also obviously like her but are confused. Just go for it.

Text her. 3 days is well past the needy zone. The longer you wait the more awkward it’s gonna feel.

Dont wait for her to text, shes doing the same thing. If you want it, ask where she wants to take this. If she wants to see how it goes, then great. If not, that’s fine, you have an answer and can work on being friends again.

If you dont text her, you may just end up awkwardly distancing from each other. You dont want that because you lose a friend and a potential partner.

Text her. She’s your best friend. I stand by this- it’s only awkward if you make it seem like there is something to be awkward over. Act normal and talk to her.

I will say that a similar situation has happened to me, and it blossomed a really amazing relationship, so you never know!