I am a 21F and I had been with my 24M boyfriend for 2 years. I recently ended things with him, or I guess if im being honest.. he blocked me after I tried telling him how I felt about the way he has been treating me. I don't understand what Ive done to deserve this treatment from him, he used to be so wonderful and supportive/uplifting. He would constantly say the sweetest, most positive things about my physical appearance when we first got together. The negativity didn't come along until recently, but boy was it ugly. I have realized that I can no longer try to build with someone who is constantly trying to tear me down.
It first started after an argument, I dont even remember what it was about but he ended up blocking me on everything. Later that night, my best friend sent me screenshots of a post on he made social media about how my vagina is “absolutely mangled”, which resulted from extreme abuse I endured as a little girl. I am well aware that I am not average, but I never expected him to speak on the way my vagina looks publically. He admitted it was beyond cruel, and he was well aware it was fcked up when he posted about it. I very clearly had a hard time “letting it go”, I still cant imagine looking past someone who brings up my childhood trauma out of anger. He apologized, but I never forgave him and sex in our relationship has been scarce since.
A few days ago, he found something else he didnt like about me. My hair. I know I have beautiful hair, so It truthfully doesnt matter what he thinks. I know my body may not be perfect, but it wasnt my fault. I am a survivor. I am strong. I am pretty, beautiful actually. Inside and out. I deserve someone who can appreciate me for who I am, and it just isnt him. I dont want someone to pick and choose what they love about me. I want to be loved whole heartedly. I know one day, I will find someone who knows theres more beneath the surface. I know one day I will find someone who loves me, not just certain parts of me. I dont know why a comment about my hair was the final straw for me. It just was. I'm not sure why i'm even posting about this, I just wanted to let someone know how freeing it feels to love myself, I feel sorry that he couldnt. Any break up advice is appreciated, and very welcome.
TLDR: My boyfriend brought up sexual abuse I endured out of anger, and continued to bring up my physical appearance in hopes Id change. He blocked me whenever I tried to call him out on his horrible behavior, Im so happy he ended what should have never started.
Jesus christ thank God you left him
Theres no going back after what he did and said, it was wrong on so many levels. He literally tried to shame, hurt and make fun of you based on what you can not control and because of a terrible thing that happened to you. Run for the hills.
Shitty people will be the nicest, sweetest, most charming people ever when you first meet them. They know that in order to control another person you have to start slow, because if they showed how ugly they are from the beginning they would never be able to succeed with their terrible schemes.
You are not a fool. You are smart, you realized what he was trying to do, and you got out.
Sorry your boyfriend was a manipulative abusive cunt. He was a little boy and couldnt handle a relationship. It’s so nasty how immature and self centred a lot of guys are, they only care about themselves. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I hope you know there are plenty of people out there who arent like that. It’s sad though because people like that act nice at first and try to hide how absolutely vile they are
I think you’re completely right to have broken up with him over this. I can’t even imagine how horrible that must have made you feel. Now seems like a great opportunity to focus on yourself and maybe start some new hobbies. As much as I love being in a relationship, being single does give you a lot of free time just for you to do and improve on whatever you want. Hope you get to feeling better soon, you deserve it 🙂