I am a 21F and I had been with my 24M boyfriend for 2 years. I recently ended things with him, or I guess if im being honest.. he blocked me after I tried telling him how I felt about the way he has been treating me. I don't understand what Ive done to deserve this treatment from him, he used to be so wonderful and supportive/uplifting. He would constantly say the sweetest, most positive things about my physical appearance when we first got together. The negativity didn't come along until recently, but boy was it ugly. I have realized that I can no longer try to build with someone who is constantly trying to tear me down.
It first started after an argument, I dont even remember what it was about but he ended up blocking me on everything. Later that night, my best friend sent me screenshots of a post on he made social media about how my vagina is “absolutely mangled”, which resulted from extreme abuse I endured as a little girl. I am well aware that I am not average, but I never expected him to speak on the way my vagina looks publically. He admitted it was beyond cruel, and he was well aware it was fcked up when he posted about it. I very clearly had a hard time “letting it go”, I still cant imagine looking past someone who brings up my childhood trauma out of anger. He apologized, but I never forgave him and sex in our relationship has been scarce since.
A few days ago, he found something else he didnt like about me. My hair. I know I have beautiful hair, so It truthfully doesnt matter what he thinks. I know my body may not be perfect, but it wasnt my fault. I am a survivor. I am strong. I am pretty, beautiful actually. Inside and out. I deserve someone who can appreciate me for who I am, and it just isnt him. I dont want someone to pick and choose what they love about me. I want to be loved whole heartedly. I know one day, I will find someone who knows theres more beneath the surface. I know one day I will find someone who loves me, not just certain parts of me. I dont know why a comment about my hair was the final straw for me. It just was. I'm not sure why i'm even posting about this, I just wanted to let someone know how freeing it feels to love myself, I feel sorry that he couldnt. Any break up advice is appreciated, and very welcome.
TLDR: My boyfriend brought up sexual abuse I endured out of anger, and continued to bring up my physical appearance in hopes Id change. He blocked me whenever I tried to call him out on his horrible behavior, Im so happy he ended what should have never started.