My best friend Lisa and I have known each other since kindergarten. We’ve been really close friends since then though nothing romantic or sexual ever happened. I had a crush on her for a while, but I never told her and she got a boyfriend when I developed that crush. Recently I had surgery(nothing major) and am still recovering from it. Her parents are going through a real rough patch and have been arguing all day and night long. She asked to stay over at my house and my parents more than fine with that.
During that time she’s been super supportive helping with almost everything in my recovery. When we sleep over, sometimes we sleep on the bed together, sometimes one of us sleeps on the floor and the other the bed. Because I’m still recovering she insisted that I take the bed. Now due to the surgery the doctor prescribed me tranquilizers to take before bed. These tranquilizers are very strong and they really put me to sleep.
A couple days ago I was about to go to bed, but I only had a half dose of the tranquilizers left. I wasn’t really in much pain or anything so I just took the half dose and went to bed. I don’t know how much time had passed, but when I woke up Lisa was on top of me and I was inside her. I was awake, but really weak and it took so much energy to talk. Eventually she noticed that I had woken up and she got off of me and ran out of my room and out of my house. She wouldn’t receive my text messages or calls though her parents tell me she’s at her house.
I have no idea what I should do. Over the last few months I’ve really developed strong feelings for her, to the point where I think I love her. Should I tell my parents? Should I tell her parents and her older sister? Should I tell Lisa about my feelings for her? What is the right way to feel right now? I’m just really confused. If she told me she wanted to have sex with me I would have instantly agreed to it. I also don’t know if that was the first time she did that or if it happened before.
There’s not a lot of information from your post to clarify how you feel about what happened. You can feel any way you feel; there is no “right” response to something like this. Regardless, making someone penetrate oneself without consent while they are incapacitated is rape. You do not have to use that terminology nor identify the experience as such, but it is not okay for her to have done this to you and I am concerned that if you enter a relationship with her, that she may rape you again.
If you ever want to talk to someone about this, 1 in 6 is an organization specifically for male sexual violence survivors. They have a 24/7 helpline and weekly chat-based support groups with a trained counselor. Their next online support group is Wednesday at 7pm CDT.
https://1in6.org/ and their helpline can be reached at https://1in6.org/helpline/
Male Survivor also has 24/7 moderated chat forums for male sexual violence survivors to receive support and advice from one another.
Male Survivor also has a therapist directory (if you’re in the US) that lists therapists who work with male survivors. https://malesurvivor.org/therapist-directory/
Unfortunately you are a victim of rape. Do with that what you will. There are resources and help out there.
You can talk to her. But you should probably talk to someone, just to talk it out. You are in control, and everything is your decision
Brother. This is rape. Everyone here is in agreement. Tell your parents and call someone.
My advise to you is to tell your parents about this incident.
I know it must be kind of embarrassing, but it is important that you acknowledge that what she did is wrong.
I know that you don’t want to give her trouble, specially if you love her, but love is all about respect, and what she did is not respectful at all.
Leaving feelings aside, think for yourself: what if she has an STD or STI? What if she gets pregnant? But more importantly, how about your health? How are you going to trust her again? Now you don’t know if she has done this on the previous nights.
I understand this is a tough position to be in, so my advise to you is to reach out to your parents, and get tested for possible STDs.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
Yeah, she raped you. You should inform people you trust and stay away from her. Doesnt matter if you liked her or if you think she apparently she liked you. She assaulted you – she does not like you. She does not value you. She waited until you were drugged to use you. Report her and drop her.