So… I know this is gonna be seen as the opposite of a problem but…
My BF lasts way too long during sex. It gets tiring and I don’t even orgasm, the fact that he lasts so long means we’re constantly changing positions. Then he wants me on top but he wants me to do that… squatting thing, which is painful and exhausting when he’s not even gonna cum. Honestly, sex became a bit of a chore and I don’t really enjoy it. I love him a lot, he’s a great guy, but man…
I can’t even satisfy him with a bj or hj. I just don’t want to tell him I’m not enjoying it because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I did sort of mention it and he said he thinks he desensitized himself by jacking so much in his younger years. I mean… is there anything I can say or do?
First of all, I know it’s hard, but you should be honest with him. You can tell him that when sex goes on for too long it becomes painful and uncomfortable. I know you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but you gotta prioritize your physical well-being.
Second, this is a real and valid issue. One possibility is that he could masturbate for a little while before you start having penetrative sex, then when he’s closer to orgasm, he can finish with you. Do you think that could work?
Does he still jack off on occasion?
He might have death grip.
He could try no sex and no masturbation for 30 or 60 days and see if that helps.
I had the same issue with my gf now wife when we dated in college. I ended up just needing to get out of my head and enjoy the now. Also, stopped masturbating so much, and stopped looking at porn almost altogether, sensation returns and it’s like everything edges me and I have to concentrate not to let go. Most importantly, we talked about it and it’s perfectly normal to run into road blocks along the way.
Tell him how you feel. Not during sex but in between.
I used to be like that. “in his younger years”, bullshit. I used to jerk off over 8 times a day then was surprised when I couldn’t finish during sex. The only thing that ‘fixed’ me was 120 days no porn, no jerking off. I went for a run when I wanted to jerk off.