We’ve been together almost a year now and half of that has been long distance. We haven’t seen each other for two months now because of covid but seeing each other next week finally and we will no longer be long distance anymore wooo!
The problem is, he’s all I can’t think about. I’m constantly checking his social media to see if he’s been online, if he’s posted, who he’s following. I check his Spotify to see what songs he’s been listening to and if they’re any of the songs that remind him of me. I’m quite insecure and if he hasn’t texted me for a few hours I feel down and sad, but when he does text I feel happy. I feel like I’ve put him on this pedestal and I can’t get him off.
Luckily, he’s not aware of this obsession, I think if he was it would definitely push him away. I come across as calm and collected to him. He knows I’m insecure sometimes and is very loving and helpful when I am. He tells me he loves me all the time and he hasn’t done anything to make me not trust him.
I’ve never been like this with anyone before, in all previous relationships I’ve almost not cared enough. I was always the laid back one and didn’t rely on anyone for my happiness but this is different. And it’s not just a honeymoon stage it’s just how I am.
I know it’s not healthy and I just need some help. How do I stop and have a more healthy relationship with him inside my head? He’s the first person I’ve ever really loved and I am scared I’ll lose that one day. I’m scared of getting hurt as he’s the first person I’ve let in, I guess.