Tldr; his brother thinks I’m a a golddigger so he followed me and said I was cheating with another man because I went to his house.
I went to my friend’s house and I stayed there for a couple of hours. I’m pregnant so he was talking about baby things to me and gave me some old baby things that his sister used when her son was little. We chatted for a bit and then my husband called me saying he knows where I am and he and his brother are outside.
I was shocked so I told him he knew I was meeting him and he said I should have told him it was at his house. I was in shock for a bit until my friend went outside to check if they were there.no don’t want to go out because I felt like my trust was betrayed. Then I heard my husband and his brother shouting at my friend.
Then I went out and told him nothing happened and he should calm down and he saw the bag full of baby things and asked why I had baby things and I said my friend gave them to me. He then said that the baby wasn’t his and he wants a paternity test. I told him he was out of order and he shouldn’t demand that. He said I clearly have something to hide and I shouldn’t be at another man’s house for 2 hours and why would he give me baby things.
I feel this is misunderstanding, I’m 7 months pregnant and I don’t want to deal with all of this now. How do I get him to calm down and accept I’m not cheating on him?
Is this the first time something like this has happened? Sounds like there’s a pattern or history here of either him being suspicious or the brother being a bad influence
Unfounded accusations of infidelity and a firm belief that you’re pregnant by another man are huge risk factors for violence.
I think you need to go stay with someone else while you sort this out. Even if you don’t think your husband would put his hands on you, his brother certainly might – and your husband isn’t going to be too quick to stop him, if he suspects you of cheating. Go stay with a friend or family member while you arrange for a paternity test, think carefully about who you want with you at the birth, and consider what this breakdown will mean for the future of your marriage. It’s going to take a very long time for you to trust your husband again, and that’s if he falls to his knees at your feet and begs for your forgiveness.
Take the test, but have him pay for it. Then suggest couples counseling. If he rejects the idea, time for a divorce.
I am willing to bet dollars to donuts that this isn’t the first time your partner’s been shitty. And it won’t be the last.
He doesn’t trust you. You cannot fix that. And the fact that he is so ready to believe his brother’s unfounded accusations speaks volumes.
I hate to break it to you, but you can’t.
All you can do is hand him the results of the paternity test and divorce papers.
I’m genuinely worried about you, the way he’s acting is full of massive red flags and warning sirens. This is how men behave in the weeks or months before hurting their partners.
I suggest staying with a trusted friend or relative, getting a paternity test, and serving it to him along with divorce papers and possibly a restraining order.
You’re acting way too calm about this. He stalked you and followed you with the intention of scaring you and starting a physical fight. That’s absolute psycho behavior.
Your BiL is an idiot and a homewrecker. Your husband is gullible.
Get the paternity test. Make hubby pay for it with his own money. Slap him silly with the certificate stating that it’s his smoothbrain sperm that knocked you up.
And start doing self-protection homework. Escape plan. Access to your own funds. Gather your important paperwork and keep that safe somewhere outside your own house. Consult a divorce lawyer as to what you can expect if things do go to divorce. You may not need it, but it’s better to be prepared.
It sucks, but these guys broke your trust. And a favorite MassimoL trope: those that accuse are usually the ones doing what they accuse others of. Do you know what your husband is doing 24/7?
Something, something, projecting something.
Do you really want a husband who will so easily believe you’re cheating? Who has no faith in you or your relationship, the woman who’s carrying his child? Maybe you’ll get over it this time, but who’s to say it won’t happen again.
There’s a man out there who will trust and respect you, and your husband ain’t it.
Unless there’s more to the story than this?