Ok this is going to sound petty. I promise you it isn't to me. We've been dating for almost two years and in almost every way she is the one for me. I want to get married to her however I realize this sounds so petty but for some reason this bothers me so much more than it should.
She has the absolute WORST restaurant etiquette.
- She barely tips. We both have good jobs, money is not a problem for her or I. We kind of take turns paying when eating out. I normally tip 20% maybe a little more or less depending on the situation. Over the weekend she tipped $3 on a $46 bill. Sometimes I've tried to leave cash on the table but she gets upset, takes it, hands it back to me. We've only had a few fights and almost every one of them have started like this. She is absolutely convinced that throwing a few dollars is more than enough. She gets ALL of this from her family. Her parents took us out last Christmas to a very expensive steak house. Her dad made an absolute scene and production of tipping $20 on a $500+ bill “because it's the holidays.”
- She sends almost every dish back. Something is always wrong with whatever she ordered. The hamburger is not done enough or done too much. There's dirt in the lettuce in her salad. The pasta isn't cooked enough, you get the idea. EVERY time.
- She expects the wait staff to be paying attention to her needs instantaneously. She's not necessarily verbally abusive towards them but she keeps making demands. Water or iced tea needs constantly refilled, we need more napkins, this fork is dirty, etc. If she's expecting or asking for something and that person isn't right there she'll start asking me (loudly) where are they to get some attention.
- She argues over the bill every time demanding to speak with a manager to have something taken off or reduced because she wasn't satisfied. It doesn't matter if it's applebees or the Capital Grille…never pay the full amount.
I am 100% sure this all comes from how her parents act at restaurants. I've seen them do this every time we've eaten out together. It isn't a money thing either they're not struggling. It is to the point that I don't like going out to eat because of what I know is about to happen. She is completely aware of how tipping is supposed to work but insists that it is optional and to 'stop throwing money away'. There's no other situations where she has this anti-social behavior except at a restaurant. I cannot get my mind around it. Everywhere else she is a kind, reasonable, sweet person but as soon as she's in a restaurant she turns into this.
How the hell do I convince her that this type of behavior needs to change and is really bothersome and anti-social? I've tried explaining time and time again and it goes in one ear and out the other.