Relazioni e amore

My (35M) wife (26F) gatekeeps sex, and refuses to let me ~*take care of myself*~

devinpr529 ci racconta la sua esperienza amorosa:

Not a throw-away, just new here.

Just like the titles says, my wife doesn't like pornography (ok sure, fine.) or masturbation or masturbatory aid(s). She doesn't like for me to see nudity other than her body etc, (and to be fair, she is extremely beautiful) and she doesn't like for me to orgasm if it isn't in front of her. All of these things are fine, except like every human being, she doesn't want to have sex EVERY single time I want to have sex, NOR do I expect her to . I WOULD however like to be able to beat my dick like he owes me money from time to time without her throwing a fit . How about it MassimoL? Thoughts?

*edit – she has told me previously that whenever i have an urge, she'll take care if it no matter what, but on those long days when the kids have been really trying our nerves, or there was lots of work to be done, i can't in good conscience ask her to make good on that promise can I? Great that she's willing, but every time i ask, no matter what's going on seems unrealistic?

*Edit 2 thanks to everyone for the thoughts and insight! It's sincerely appreciated! You've finally given me things to think about and things to try. Was definitely not expecting the number of responses this received!

> i can’t in good conscience ask her to make good on that promise can I?


What I have found in situations like this is that the other person has no idea what they are in for.

My lovely wife, at the beginning of our relationship, kind of felt this way.

She had no idea how much higher my libido was than hers and that I was trying to be considerate of her with our sex life.

She gave it the old college try, but tapped out after a couple weeks and all has been well ever since.

Low libido people legitimately don’t see how High Libido people function.

She wants to be responsible for all of your orgasms?? Oblige her.

Is there a way she can take some nudes of herself and give you permission to jerk to those? That way it’s still her and you can take care of yourself without her worrying you’re watching other women? Maybe a video of herself? It’s a compromise, but if she agrees, be sure to really praise her and the photos because she will probably be really self conscious.

That is approaching abusive level of control – NO ONE has the right to dictate what you do to and with your own body. I would tell her we’re going straight to a marriage counselor if she can’t acknowledge your right to bodily autonomy and in the meantime what you and your dick do while you’re alone is not her fucking business and you will jerk off as you please. If she doesn’t like it, she can take her controlling ass out the door.

That’s shockingly controlling, I can understand the porn thing, a lot of people have a problem with it.

However, it’s your body, touch it whenever you want.

Interested to know if she’s allowed to ‘take care of herself’ or not? Hypocrisy would really raise some red flags.

Has she always had control issues, or is this something new?