So I was just hanging out with my bf of 3.5 years last night and asked what he did the previous night because I thought he had gone to visit his parents but he didn’t. I asked what he did and he started getting a bit uncomfortable and said he hung with one his friends but it was obvious he was lying. I kept asking him questions and he eventually revealed that he had dinner with his ex.
Apparently his ex (who also is in a long term relationship) had reached out to him to catch up after over 3 years over dinner. I asked why she had reached out and he said she’s been catching up with old friends/people from college. Also not just any dinner, she suggested this fine dining $200 tasting menu restaurant, just them two wtf?! They each paid for their own meal. What bothers me is that they both had agreed that they would keep it between themselves because they knew that I and her bf would be uncomfortable of the idea. For more context, her bf and my bf really don’t like each other so she was the one who suggested this whole “hush hush” thing. If I had not caught my bf in a lie he probably would never had told me. My bf hardly ever lies to me like that until now.
My bf proceeded to tell me that they just talked about their lives and he dropped her off at her parents home afterwards, that’s all. I trust that they didn’t “do” anything together but I just find this whole situation incredibly suspicious and it doesn’t sit right with me at all. I’ve never went behind my bf’s back and had dinner with my ex. My bf apologized and said he wouldn’t ever do it again. What should I do? Should I just let it go? We’re about to go on a week long vacation in 2 days.
TL;DR: Bf of 3.5 years went behind my back and had fancy dinner with his ex, didn’t tell me until I caught him in his lie
>My bf hardly ever lies to me like that until now
…uh-huh.
Wow… so he preferred to have a secret with you than just talking to you BEFORE doing it.
I wouldn’t trust him anymore. He knew what he was doing.
>they both had agreed that they would keep it between themselves
Having dinner together isn’t a big deal. Having am expensive dinner isn’t a big deal (unless you’re having financial issues). If your partner is trustworthy, none of this is a problem.
But this part? This is. They both conspired to meet in secret and keep it a secret from their respective partners, which proves them both to be untrustworthy.
Whether they hooked up or not, the main issue is that he lied to you and he didn’t admit the truth until you forced it out of him. He made an agreement with his ex to continue lying to you. They both tried to make a fool of you. I guess you just have to decide if you’re willing to put up with that level of disrespect.