So a few years ago, I was diagnosed with Premenstrual Disphoric Disorder (PMDD) which for those of you who don't know is like a really extreme form of PMS. Aside from the unbearable pain that leaves me curled up in a crying ball, my mental health takes a huge downward spiral and it is crippling for around a week.
I have been depressed and struggle with anxiety so I can only describe it as suddenly being plunged into severe depression: I feel get mood swings, anxiety, feel incredibly low, numb, hopeless, irritable, tearful and feel like life isn't worth living and people would be better off without me. It's no party. The symptoms usually go a few days into my period and I start to feel like a normal person again but it was a hell that I learned to fear every month. It would completely ruin my life for a week or so each month. I would feel immensely guilty for the person that I became when this happened because I'm just not myself and can't function like a normal person.
I was finally diagnosed with PMDD which was a huge relief because I knew that what I experienced wasn't the norm so it was great to finally understand it. I was advised to take the combined contraceptive pill continuously with no 7 day break to avoid having periods altogether. I was told that it is completely safe to do so but I might get breakthrough bleeding so when that happens, I should take a short break and re-start after 7 days. No period? No PMDD! Amazing!
I have recently started to bleed so said to my SO that I will need to stop taking my pill for a week. He immediately said that we need a plan and said that he thinks it's best that he stops speaking to me if I stop taking my pill and we can resume contact when I come off my period because he won't like who I am when I'm on my period.
I completely understand that it can't be nice going from having a sweet and loving girlfriend to having a sad, crying, irritable and low one and he shouldn't have to deal with that but I can't help but feel a bit upset by the fact that he wants no contact – It feels quite cold. I feel like I'm some weird monster that needs to be temporarily banished while I have my period.
My SO sees it differently and said that he needs to make sure his own mental health doesn't wobble as a result of my mood so it's better to not speak until my period has finished. Of course I care about his mental wellbeing and don't want my mental health to have a detrimental effect on him so should I just respect that that is for the best here?
Thanks for reading!
So a few of people have just assumed and concluded that this means I verbally abuse and attack my SO. I didn't know that I needed to clarify that but that is absolutely not the case! I love and respect my SO dearly and would never do anything to hurt him.
He suffers from anxiety and depression so we have been through a lot with his mental health which can be tough but I always do what I can to help and support him with that but unfortunately, we both know that this will not be one of those times.