My daughter and her husband had a child a genetic condition that causes mental retardation. They were excited to have a baby, but didn’t have any idea that anything was wrong with their son for several months after he was born, when he wasn’t meeting any milestones or advancing past newborn stage. At almost 1 year old, they had genetic testing done and it was confirmed that he would have permanent delays and really limited amount to make progress in his life. My son and law disappeared overnight. He packed his stuff, he left. We have had no idea where he is. It’s been 6 months and my daughter doesn’t think he’s coming back.
She has been leaving the boy with me and leaving for up to a couple days at a time. She has outright said that she doesn’t want him, that he is the biggest mistake of her life. She says she feels cheated out of the opportunity to be a mother, and didn’t agree to sign up for a lifetime of caregiving for a vegetable. She’s said her son is nothing more to her than a leech on her happiness and her money, referring to the thousands of dollars she spends on physical therapist and other things to try to make him better. She says she feels no bond with him. She says she doesn’t want to be a single mother. She really does seem very miserable.
She already leaves the boy with me and disappears for up to a couple days at a time. His daycare is open from 7am-7pm but has a rule about not leaving kids for more than 9hrs. I found out that she lied to them saying that she is struggling financially as a single mother and needs to work more to be able to keep their home, so that they will let her leave him for 12hr days. She does this every day. Sometimes the daycare even calls me at 7 because she hasn't come to get him and I need to go get him.
I am worried that she’s going to run off and leave the boy with me when this COVID stuff is over and her lease is up. I’m 70 and there’s no way that I can raise this baby. I feel bad for my grandson that his mother doesn’t want him, but I also don’t blame my daughter. It kind of seems like we’re all just playing hot potato with this baby. I don’t want him to suffer or have to go into foster care or those awful ratty nursing homes they stick the mentally handicapped in.
How can I help convince my daughter to want to take this baby back?