Relazioni e amore

My friend won’t leave!

thowitaway234501 ci racconta la sua esperienza:

So I have a friend (25F) that came back from Costa Rica. She asked me to pick her up from the airport and I agreed but when I went to pick her up she asked me if she could stay with me (26F) and my boyfriend (23M) for two weeks because her mom is pregnant and she wanted to make sure she didn't have the corona virus. I asked my boyfriend and he said yes. Well that two weeks turned to six so I told her she had to go home. When I get off of work to take her home, she says her stepdad won't let her come home because they had a falling out. She waited to tell me this until it was time for her to go! She doesn't work so she sits on the couch all day, she doesn't help clean, doesn't have money. Her only option is to go to New Orleans with her aunt but she doesn't want to. What should I do? I'm getting annoyed and it's going to cost us this friendship.

tl;dr: friend asked to stay with me and boyfriend for two weeks, and now it's been seven and she won't leave

Have a safe trip to NOLA

Sit her down and tell her that she has to leave. I would give her 2-3 days to organize everything and if you like to, offer her help.
If the date has come, make sure that she packes her stuff.

“I know this is awkward but, we have decided, you have to be out by x date.”

keep using past tense. It is decided. This is already decided. It is not a negotiation, this is not a request, or a debate. You and boyfriend agree ahead of time to back each other up on everything, not disagree in any way, not let her get to one of your sympathy and use it against the other. Practice phrases like “it’s terrible but” “I’m sorry this happened but” always past tense. It’s already done. Even “there is nothing to be done, there is no other option, I’m sorry but it has to be by x date” “it just does” “that’s not the point” and be brave, practice saying out loud “I feel we’ve been very patient and generous already” if she tries to become emotionally manipulative. “Haven’t we already given you enough time, haven’t we been understanding this whole time?” “I’m sure you’re grateful for all we already did” etc.

The fact that she thought it was okay to potentially infect you with covid 19 was bad, the fact that she thought it was okay to force that on you when you were nice enoigh to give her a loft, she stays in your home and doesn’t even clean? This person is not your friend or at the very least the friendship is unhealthy and toxic.

Edit: spelling.