I’m a male and my girlfriend kissed a girl at a party saying she has been wondering if she was bi and just wanted to see if she liked it. She says it was nothing more and only wants me but I don’t know how to feel. I love her and plan on spending my whole life with her but now I feel like I’ll never be enough with her. She says she didn’t really like it but she keeps bringing it up in weird ways. She apologizes for it but it just dosnt feel like she truly sees it as cheating.
she is/did cheat.saying “oh i think im bi” is a bullshit excuse. im bi, do you see me cheating on any of my previous partners? no.
I’m a gay girl. Your girlfriends mentality that it doesn’t count as cheating to make out with another girl is honestly bullshit. It’s just as much cheating to make out with a random girl as it is to make out with a random guy. Saying it “doesn’t count” is also really invalidating to girls who like girls! It’s like saying our physical contact doesn’t matter because there’s no dick involved. So yeah, you’re right to be upset and I’m sorry this happened to you!
She cheated on you. It doesn’t matter if she sees it as cheating or not. You don’t do that shit in a relationship if you’re curious about your sexuality without at least talking to your significant other about it.
This is hard and I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this.
It’s cheating especially because she’s bicurious. As a bisexual woman, I’d expect a bf of mine to be jealous if I kissed a girl, and I might even think he was homophobic if he tried to downplay it as “just girls kissing girls at a party.”
Now, some girls just kiss in friendly ways when drunk. I’ve platonically made out with plenty of my friends, too. Some girls “go through a bi phase” or “want to experiment” but you don’t get to do that and be in a committed monogamous heterosexual relationship. Period.
She did it with the intention of finding out if she liked it better than she liked you. It’s the same as if she kissed a guy at a party “just to see if it was worth it.” What if she had liked it?
She deliberately put herself into a situation where she was seeing if there was something she liked more than your relationship. It sucks to hear, but she was looking for something she doesn’t have. She may not have found it in that girl, but it doesn’t mean she won’t stop looking.
She messed up. She cheated. I’m not saying end your relationship, but it has to be acknowledged and she has to show she cares about keeping/recovering your trust.
Tell her that you are not 100% sure you are heterosexual, and to confirm this you are going to start kissing and having sex with other women, it is just because you want to see if you still like it, and since she doesn’t see this as cheating, it’s all good right?