Relazioni e amore

New to physical affection

ApacheMaton ci racconta la sua esperienza amorosa:

My gf and I have been together for a month and a half and before that i wasnt in a relationship for 5 years. Even my last girlfriend or my family never gave me any physical affection like long hugs or back rubs. Yesterday before leaving i hugged my girlfriend, she put her head on my chest, arm on my back and the other on my waist and hugged me so tight for probably a minute or 2 so i hugged her back even tighter and i almost teared up a little. Has anyone experienced this before or anything similar? I dont really understand why i would tear up or feel the need to cry

I can actually relate to this a lot. I didn’t grow up having a lot of physical affection from my family and I only ever been in a relationship when I was 28 (the relationship wasn’t long and the affection was not fully there) but I did get affection when my nephews were born. It was the first fully physical affection I had gotten where I felt loved and wanted and I would tear up especially when I’m having a bad day and they would hold onto me I would choke back tears. It’s like a relief to me when I’m held by them. Now I’m 29 and I have a girlfriend and despite getting some affection from my nephews it still took me awhile to get used to the affection my girlfriend would give me. It felt so foreign but amazing and you get this warm feeling in your chest and you start to feel secure and safe. It’s very easy for me to break down in her arms when I’m in the slightest bit of a blue mood.

This is perfectly normal. Physical affection is really emotionally powerful, and I’d be lying if I said some hugs didn’t make me tear up as well. I’m really happy you got such a good hug! 🙂

I’m glad you liked it. It is so important! Once you continously get it from the one you love, there’s no going back. You never want anything less. The bonding it provides is indescribable. But please, ALWAYS reciprocate. I can’t stress that enough.

It sounds to me that you’re discovering that your love language is touch! You don’t have to go straight into the details of getting teary eyed with her yet(though like others have said, that reaction was perfectly normal), but definitely let her know you like hugs and things of that sort, and don’t suppress It. I wasn’t very open with one of my ex’s about how much I liked hugs and such, so she never really reciprocated It unless I initiated It. I don’t know if I just assumed she’d know that that’s the sort of thing that I preferred, but she didn’t and maybe if I had been more communicative about It that relationship would’ve actually gone somewhere ?

My husband went through the same thing. His family and his ex wife were not really affectionate towards him and I kind of get the feeling he may have been pushed aside a lot. My family is very affectionate, when we talk about how he feels about that he says he finally feels like not only is he loved but he is “SEEN” and valued.