Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gkndk8/i_20f_think_my_brothers_30m_kid_13m_is_a/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Hello. Thank you so much for all the support you have shown me. I didn't think so many of you would reach out to me and offer help. I'm truly grateful. Some of you were so nice that it made me teary. It's so amazing that people that don't even know me can be so kind to me when my own family is acting like this. Thank you. I appreciate it.
I have to warn you that this might be long. I'm back in my apartment and in a considerably better mood. I might end up talking a lot about myself haha. Sorry about that.
After posting on MassimoL, I actually decided to buy a lock, but I didn't get to buy it. Before that, my SIL and I had an argument. She actually tried to set me up with our neighbour who is married and is forty-two years old. I'm pretty sure his wife is a doctor and they are very much still together. She's not home right now, but she's a DOCTOR. It could be because she's busy, but for some reason, my SIL believed that his wife left him, and tried to talk me into going over to his home to help.
I don't know what she was thinking. That would be so awkward?? Trying to seduce a married guy in front of his kids?? Why would I do that? I can't understand her thinking at all.
I refused to do that, and she wouldn't stop pestering me. At night, I ended up video calling my gf in the living room, hoping SIL would see it. Looking back, I shouldn't have provoked her. My niece actually saw me talking to my gf and asked me who it was. I could literally feel SIL glaring at me, but it would be rude to not introduce her so I ended up introducing her to my gf.
That backfired and after the call ended, SIL accused me of brainwashing/influencing her daughter. We ended up arguing about it, and she wouldn't stop saying very disgusting stuff like I was trying to “rape” her daughter (she didn't use the word rape. She said I was trying to do “gay things” to her daughter) or I was trying to “transfer my deformity” Those were the exact words. I don't even know what it means! Wtf.
I know I should've fought back and stuff, but I don't have that kind of courage. I ended up just going back to my room because she wouldn't stop calling me names. I guess it was sort of my fault. It's her daughter so I don't think I have a right to say anything about that.
After that, it was kind of quiet for a while, but the next day, I was taking a shower and my nephew went to my room again. I had been keeping my inhalers locked in this little safe-like box. I kept the key with me at all times, but that little demon threw my shoes, the box with my inhalers and some of my clothes out of the window. I did go down to the backyard and bring it back so I didn't lose anything.
When my mom confronted SIL about throwing my stuff, all she said was that god did it. This was the last straw, and I felt like they really just wanted to get rid of me. Nephew had been banging and kicking on the door to annoy me too. He would also shout or scream when I didn't give him attention.
I ended up calling my gf. I really didn't want to, because I was the one who encouraged her to go back to her parents because she was worried about them (They're really old, 61F and 63M)
She came to take me back the day before yesterday. We packed my stuff together and came back to my apartment in her car. My brother didn't even try to stop me and say anything. That hurt just a little bit, but that's okay. I didn't expect anything from him anyway.
The only small victory we had was my gf didn't answer any of my SIL's questions seriously. SIL kept hanging around us while we packed, and my gf made a joke out of all of SIL'S little comments. SIL made a small comment that we would go to hell and my gf said something like “Yeah we'll have lots of kinky lesbian sex in this life and then meet you there.” I should've used that trick this whole time. I didn't know it would work.
I'm now back in my apartment, and I'm in a much better mood. I just talked to my gf's mom and she's just such a sweet person. She told me I can go there anytime, and it really made me happy.
So yeah, it may not have been the perfect ending. I also lost my colours and stuff which nephew hid somewhere, but I guess I'm okay. I can just buy more. I know some of you were like “punch them both and throw them on the street” but yeah, I can't do that. I'm sorry. I can't tell my brother and SIL to get out.
There are many reasons for that. First of all, my dad just had a heart surgery and my mom is not in a good place emotionally. My SIL is a bitch to me but she's very helpful and she's the one taking care of MY father. My brother is supporting my parents financially which is something I can't do at the moment. Telling them to get out is the most selfish thing I can do at the moment.
Thank you for all the help though. I won't be seeing my brother and SIL for a long time, and I'm happy I don't have to worry about that anymore. I was hoping my brother would at least say something, but it's alright for now. Maybe he'll come to his senses some time in the future.
For now, I'm just going to spend the rest of quarantine in my own apartment and try to enjoy some time with my girlfriend. Thanks 🙂
I’m glad you got out of there and got to be back with your girlfriend. That sounded like hell.
And holy shit your SIL is an awful human being. I can’t believe she was trying to get you to break up your neighbor’s marriage. With a guy twice your age. When you’re gay. Like there’s so many layers of messed up bullshit right there. Good god.
Well, I’m just glad you got out.
Wow, your SIL is pure trash. Thank goodness you’re with your girlfriend again.
I hope every time SIL puts on socks for the rest of her life she immediately steps in a puddle and can’t change her socks and has to wear cold wet socks all day.
Fuck her. What a rotten cunt. You have the patience of a saint to not rip her to shreds in front of her monster. I know I would have done that. It’s not nice, but I’d want to make her son saw me verbally rip her apart, so he knew I wasn’t a push over.
Is there a way you can be there just for the daughter and have NC with the rest of that family unit?
Man. I just read both of your posts.
I’m so glad you got out of there for the sake of your mental AND physical health.
As for your nephew, I’m wondering if this is oppression from his mother. This is the age where boys become curious sexually, but with the mother being so “saint like”… imagine having to hide literally everything – or worse, what if he’s discovered he’s more attracted to men and has to hide that because of his mother and is targeting you because if you can influence his sister like that, surely you’d be able to influence a man.
We know that abuse is a learned behaviour, and we’ve already seen the mother justify abuse because you love who you love. AND your poor friggan niece learning things this way, and your parents because the whole thing must have chewed them up inside. Your SIL is an evil woman.
The son is probably being brainwashed by his mom and he used it as an excuse to bully you, because some kids are vile monster (due to vile parents). Glad you’re in a safe place OP.