Questa volta abbiamo cercato una domanda rivolta alle donne.Women who have found good romantic relationships after being traumatized in past relationships, how did you move on? When did you know you were ready?
Ed ecco le risposte del genere femminile:
One day at a time. I haven’t healed all the way. Each new person has their flaws but are very understanding.
I go through a wave of emotions and doubts about being ready at the beginning. Therapy helps.
I leave relationships quickly now. At the sign of the first red flag.
I wouldn’t say my prior relationship was abusive per se but my ex bf definitely had narcissistic tendencies and was highly manipulative. When We finally broke up (3 weeks after he asked me to marry him in a manic episode) I slowly started to realize how toxic the relationship was and how much I lost myself in it. It took me 2.5 years of no dating and no hook ups to heal and yet I have to admit that as soon as I got into a new relationship there are still some insecurities lingering. I actually felt good about my self, felt like I knew what I wanted and had my shit together but it’s still different when you’re in a relationship again. You can read psychology and self help books, treat yourself, find yourself and all of that, yet you only know whether you’re ready when you try. For me personally the real working part is being in a new relationship and trying to apply all those things you learned about yourself and your healing process. It’s still hard sometimes but what I definitely learned is to listen to my gut and acknowledge red flags when I see them. I’m also not that codependent anymore like I used to be because I recognize my unhealthy patterns and try to avoid them.
Best of luck
I moved on when I grew from the trauma than going back to more of the same. Your mindset is everything to moving on to something good.
I was able to recognize what is unhealthy. I asked the right questions right away and when people show you who they are, believe them. I did not excuse bad behavior down to something minor. I looked for signs of classic abuse techniques being used on me.
I healed and found my own voice to stand up for myself. I created standards I can stick to and priorities of what was important in a partner.
I was okay with being alone, than attaching to who ever will have me.
I went to therapy for PTSD and self sabotaging my life because of fear.
Having rejected people who was more of the same BS made me realize my growth. If I knew certain things about myself before the bad relationship I would have probably not pursued it so the fact I didn’t made me feel more comfortable with dating someone who held up to the standards of how I wanted to be treated…and of it turned out they were not, I had the strength to say bye.
I haven’t healed either and I haven’t revealed any of it to my partner as it’s been six months but I try to be in the present and remind myself this is bliss n what true happiness is
I don’t know if I really had a moment of feeling ready. I ended up running into my now bf (same friend circle before we were dating) at the bar. I planned on going out for a fun night after my divorce and ended going home with him. A year later, still going strong. It will take many years to undue the damage from my past relationship but my bf is very patient and understanding.