Just found out that my wife has been lying to me about our debt. This was after getting to the end of dealing with a £15,000 loan and feeling for the first time that we were debt free and ready to actually save.
I ordered a credit report to have a look at the payment of the loan and to see what state things were in, with the plan to save for a mortgage on a house. But on looking at the report I came across 2 credit cards – combined debt of £7k.
My wife denied any knowledge of them. But then later admitted that they were hers.
I'm completely stunned by this. Not only is the dream of being able to save dashed, I now dont know if I can even trust my wife. We've been having problems recently and I think this is the final straw for me.
Has anyone dealt with anything similar themselves? Would be helpful to get some advice. Thanks.
This is a massive trust issue, one that can not be overlooked. You have two choices ahead of you. One you can break it off and call it quits, ideal if you dont have dependents as you will not be betrayed again. Option two, break off joint accounts and make it clear you will each be financially independent so you arent on the hook for finances, keep a joint account just to pay bills in which you each contribute to.
Also in staying together you need counseling. She needs to understand how deep this betrayal of trust is. What is she spending the money on?
Ask for copies of the credit card bills. The first step is to find out what she is buying.
If you don’t have kids, it’s time to consider hitting the eject button.
Financial counselor. Immediately. Does your wife have any addiction that you know of? Gambling, alcohol, smoking? Or does she have a dying/elderly relative that she might have been paying for out of her pocket?
Whats she spend 7k on? You must have noticed new stuff and wondered.