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The average person calls 911 twice in their lifetime. What crazy thing happened that made you call?

We saw an agitated guy run out onto a 4 lane street, throw himself down and roll on the ground. Called 911 to get him off the street and whatever help he needed… Turned out some asshole taxi-driver pepper-sprayed him in the eye when he tried to get directions from him. (Ttaxi-driver said he was on break, so he didn’t want to be disturbed while parked at the fricking train station). The guy was completely blind and unaware he’d run onto the street. Also scared/wary of anyone approaching him because he couldn’t establish whether we were there to help or continue the attack.

Probably would’ve been fine to call the non-emergency line in retrospect.. But we only found all of this out after the police and the ambulance had arrived.

I’m quite above the average. 2 robberies, 3 or 4 for a client pulling a peg tube out, 2 for clients that have fainted, and 2 for car accidents that I witnessed and had injured people.

I was working closing shift at a tobacco store in a small town. An old man, a regular, pulls up on his tractor and comes in to get his cheap carton of Santa Fe’s. Now he was always on the tractor because he lost his license years ago for all of his dui’s (cops knew him and never stopped him), but this was the first time he came in the store drunk.

He stumbles in, grabs his carton off the shelf, and proceeds to the counter. I ring him up, tell him the total, and he just…starts yelling. He is convinced I am ripping him off and pocketing money because his total is more than the price on the shelf. I try calmly explaining that it is sales tax but he isn’t having any of it. Then he tries to grab me across the counter. When I moved out of his reach he tried coming around to get to me, but he was too drunk to make it and fell. So, I call 911 because I now have a drunk and enraged old man on the floor. While I’m on the phone he starts threatening to rape me when he gets his hands on me. Dispatch heard everything. One thing about that store is that it is where the chief of police and all the cops got their cigars and dip, so I got to know them well. Next thing I know every cop in the city is in my parking lot, and the old man is being hauled off to jail. Court was something else a few months later. Let’s just say the judge knew him well.

This was in 2012. By 2013 I’d had enough, got out of that town, moved back home to New Orleans and started bartending. The next time a drunk man tried to come across a counter at me I tackled him and held him until security got there to escort him out and wait for the police. Customer service jobs are much more enjoyable when you can defend yourself against assholes without having to worry about losing your job.

  • Bomb threat on public transport.

  • Crazy dude going completely psycho, also on public transport.

When I was 13, my 80 year old neighbor Mr. Don fell down from a stroke in front of my house.