A dealbreaker is by definition a dealbreaker! Find someone new; there’s plenty of people out there.
If it is a deal-breaker, it doesn’t matter when I discover it. The relationship/friendship ends.
At some point you should know the person well enough to know if they are emotionally capable of a) truly understanding the issue you have and b) changing. Depends on how self-aware they are and how much energy and patience you have.
If you have little confidence in the latter, then the former is unlikely to happen. I don’t see a point in trying to reconcile if that’s true.
A lot of times deal breakers imo, are just issues that arise from a core part of their personality that isn’t compatible with you
U have a calm chat. No accusations or yelling. Ultimately you can only control yourself. Have an ex who was a cheater. I began to feel like he was cheating. Didnt snoop jst calm chat abt feelings. He denied. Ok cool. In my mind: i keep feeling like this Im out. Abt 2 months later I left. The feeling persisted n it shouldn’t have started in the first place.
Doesn’t matter when it’s discovered, it’s over at that time.