Relazioni e amore

Am I (32F) impossible to please, or should I pay attention to these things that annoy me?

“sarcasm is never uplifting” is a motto we said in teen camp, I’ve never forgotten it.

I’m annoyed with him just from reading this. Dude is way too old to be able to boast that he’s “fluent in sarcasm” like a 14 year old that thinks they’re edgy because they shop at Hot Topic.

Don’t date people you can’t have a sincere conversation with.

what makes me uneasy is how it sounds like he lacks the capacity for self-awareness. he doesn’t notice or understand little things that upset other people or just miss the mark, and he’s more interested in entertaining himself than in contributing to a relationship that’s comfortable for everyone involved. they’re little things right now, but if you can’t communicate and understand each other about little things then it’s just a matter of time before the dynamic is just unlivable in my opinion. what would make the difference is if you could get through to him to make him understand how these things bother you and why, and that you don’t care to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t mind bothering you like that, and he ultimately responded with humility and an interest in doing better.

I’m my experience with dating, the things that made me think, “should I just end this and move on” at 2 months, were unbearable after a year. That is to say, after just a couple of months you’re still honeymooning, you’re more comfortable, but still trying to present the best version of yourself. If he’s kind of an asshole now, he’ll probably be a big asshole later when you two are comfortable and established and have to work though hard things together. The inability to be genuine and to even allow you to be genuine is something that will cause a lot of conflict in the future.

If he doesn’t see it as a problem and doesn’t want to change, then you should move on.

When I met my husband, it was the first relationship I had where everything suddenly felt easy. We’ve definitely had some really hard times, but we have a partnership and work with one another. We don’t make hard things harder for each other, and we definitely don’t make easy things hard just for fun. There are some people who would enjoy that constantly sarcastic style in a relationship, but it doesn’t sound like that’s you. Find yourself a partnership.

These sound like pretty predominant factors in his personality that he is unlikely to change. If they’re already bugging you, they’re only going to cause problems in the future.