My boyfriend and I recently moved in together and this is both our first ever apartment, so naturally we are both very excited and was to invite our friends over to show it off. I went to have dinner with my family when he invited a couple of his friends over. These two friends are coworkers of him and while I don’t mind his male friend (24M) at all, his female friend (19 F) always seems to be quite standoffish, borderline rude whenever I see her. My bf claims she’s just quiet and sometimes says she’s rude. While I was gone, they came over, but his female friend brought her cousin along. When I got there, they were all sitting in the front on the floor (we had no furniture as we just moved it), and I instantly felt an awkward vibe. My bf looked at me a little awkwardly and greeted me awkwardly as did his male friend, but the female friend and her cousin did not acknowledge me. I went to the bathroom and when I got back to the livingroom, they had all went outside to the patio. I went outside to try to join them, but again they all became quiet, no one had invited me outside nor did they bring out a chair for me, just really uncomfortable and awkward vibes. Am I wrong to be upset with my bf about this? I felt very rejected and uncomfortable in my own living space. Every time I’ve brought it up, my bf seems to defend her and say “she’s just quiet, she doesn’t know any better”. It makes me really angry and I can’t seem to let it go. It’s been about 2 months since this incident.
Either this was a double date or they were all talking shit about you
“She doesn’t know any better” isn’t an excuse. She’s 19, an adult and who should know manners. As a guest, not greeting the home owner is incredibly rude and disrespectful. It’s your home too. Have a talk with your boyfriend about who he invites into your home. You should not be made to feel awkward and uncomfortable in your own home. I advise you to put your foot down if your boyfriend continues to defend her. Your boyfriend should not side with his coworker over his girlfriend, especially if his coworker is in the wrong here.
I want to add that these coworkers of his are now dating. He usually doesn’t mention her whenever he talks about their little group, like he’ll leave the fact that she’s involved out because he feels that I don’t like her. While I don’t have very fond feelings of her, I don’t particularly dislike her. If I felt more comfortable, like it she actually acknowledged my existence, then I’d probably have more positive feelings for her.
He doesn’t have to mix you in to all the reindeer games, but excluding you in your own home is total BS.
I’m wondering if she was trying to set up her cousin with your BF.
if “Vibe” comes up in the conversation, get really angry.
Would call her out on front of everyone,to counteract the rudeness.
Something like.’hi whatever her name is, have I done something to upset you as you appear to think it’s ok to ignore me in my own house? ‘
And your bf is a tool for defending her behaviour. She’s an adult, not a toddler.