I’m 33f and my husband is 35m. We’ve been married for 8 years. We’re going through a rough patch at the moment. A few weeks ago, my husband went out with a few of his friends and my brother Ron. At the time, my husbands brother Toby (25m) had just gotten engaged to his current fiancée Isabelle (23f), though Toby had not been invited to this outing.
My brother told me that night my husband m indulged a lot (he doesn’t often). Ron said that my husband admitted that he had always thought that Isabelle, who had been friends with Toby for 15 years, had always had a crush on him and even after she had begun dating Toby, he had thought they were going to hook up “eventually”. One of my husbands friends said that just because she was engaged to Toby didn’t mean anything and he just laughed, and another one of his friends said that them getting married just meant she’d be around more often.
After my brother told me about this conversation I confronted my husband and he told me he didn’t remember saying that or much else from that night, but he did tell me he had always thought Isabelle had a crush on him and had never told me because he thought I would’ve acted “strange” around her.
I’m having a hard time moving past this. The way my brother described my husbands attitude and conversation that night was completely disgusting and disrespectful to our marriage. What’s bothering me the most though, is my husband can’t remember saying any of it so he thinks it should just be discounted and I shouldn’t take it so seriously. So he just thinks I should move past it, meanwhile he’s helping Toby and Isabelle move into their new house, sometimes being alone with Isabelle for hours while Toby works.
I’ve even spoken to another one of his friends who was there, who told me it was just rambling and I shouldn’t put any stock into it, although I know that this friends loyalty is with my husband and not me. I don’t want to overthink something but I also don’t want to brush something under the rug that shouldn’t be. Do I move past this?