Relazioni e amore

My BF (21M) of 2 years doesn’t want kids and i’m (20F) concerned for our relationship

Bigfootsgirlfriend ci racconta la sua esperienza:

My boyfriend of 2 years doesn’t want any kids in the future and I’m genuinely concerned about our future.

Me and my boyfriend are still in college, and do not want kids any time soon, but i’ve always talked to him about how much i love the idea of being a mother and i cannot wait to build a family with him in the future. He’s always kinda brushed it off whenever i brought up the topic of having kids and i honestly didn’t think too much of it until one time he emphasized how much he doesn’t want have any kids. I asked him why not, and he said he “doesn’t think he’d be a good father” and that he just wants to spend his future with ONLY me and him forever. No kids.

I genuinely feel like he is my soulmate & the person i am going to spend the rest of my life with but i can’t help but feel like this relationship is temporary… because i don’t want to be with a man who doesn’t eventually want to have children. I am in so awe at the idea of having his children and it breaks my heart that he doesn’t want this.

He constantly says “oh you’ll change your mind when we get older…” but i really don’t think that will happen. i’m stern on wanting kids and i honestly don’t know how to handle the fact that he doesn’t. I absolutely do not want to break up with him because like i said, he’s the love of my life but is this a hurdle i’m just going to have to deal with? Would it be unreasonable of me to leave him over this?

TL;DR : My boyfriend of 2 years is stern on not wanting kids in the future and i’m concerned for the longevity of our relationship.

He’s not your soulmate if you want two completely different things out of life. You might both change your minds but you don’t take a gamble and hope for that to happen, it’s not how that works.

What happens if you accidentally get pregnant and want to keep it?

Also, gently, you’re 20, every relationship can and will feel like they are your soulmate for a time otherwise you wouldn’t keep dating them.

>he is my soulmate

Not if y’all aren’t on the same page about having kids or not. That’s a huge deal.

>you’ll change your mind when we get older

Not likely … and likewise for him.

>i’m stern on wanting kids and i honestly don’t know how to handle the fact that he doesn’t

You drop him and go find someone that wants to have kids – stop wasting your time on what, for you, is a dead end.

>unreasonable of me to leave him over this?

Nope. You can breakup with anyone, at any time, for any reason, or even no reason at all.

I was with someone from age 18-23 and I broke up with him because he wanted kids and I didn’t. It was hard but necessary and it was the best decision I could have made!

There’s plenty of people out there who want kids, this relationship isn’t going to work out