Honestly, I (27f) feel a little dumb caring about this so much. It kind if feels like, when I was in Jr. High and it was sO dRaMaTiC when someone moved you down a spot in their top 8 on MySpace.
My bf (30m) is a very private person, and for most of our relationship, he didn't even care about social media at all, so it didn't seem like too big of a deal that he wasn't posting me/us together.
However, for the past 5 or 6 months, he flipped a 180° and became Mr. Instagram. He started posting way more, made his profile public, doubled his followers, and is constantly watching people's stories and responding to them as a way to “strike up a conversation with people he hasn't seen in years.”
He says he doesn't want to post about me because 1. He's a very private person, and 2. He is about to start neurosurgery residency in July, and he just wants his IG to be more focused on his professional life.
Except, most of his pictures from the past year are him out with his buddies at bars, or him at a wedding with a drink in his hand, or a party we actually went to together in the Everglades that he posted a bunch of pics from, but I'm not in any of them, and the most infuriating is the string of pictures/videos from his trip to Brazil a few months ago for Carnival, which was certainly not professional.
Oh, and I also can't tag him in anything. Because he doesn't want anyone to be able to find my profile, where I've posted pictures of us throughout our entire relationship. And he recently asked me to make my profile private, or else take down all the pictures of him, for his privacy. I get confused by that because my IG is pretty dang wholesome. My parents follow me, as do several of my friends' parents, my childhood pastor and his children, teachers I've had, the directors of the summer camp I've volunteered at since I was 16, and even kids I used to babysit who are now in high school/college. It isn't as though I post anything NSFW or embarrassing.
Our 5 year anniversary is coming up in June, and I've asked him if he'll post anything about it, and he keeps gently telling me no. When I bring up the fact that he looks like a totally single guy to anyone snooping on his profile, he tells me I'm reading too deeply into it, and asks if I'm bored and want to do something else to “occupy my mind.”
Am I nuts here? I usually don't care much about social media either, but now it's such a giant part of our lives, and outright refusal to be publicly in a relationship after 5 years is weird, right?