Relazioni e amore

My boyfriend is staying friends with someone who beat up his girlfriend. What should I do?

RichieJ86 ci racconta la sua esperienza amorosa:

My boyfriends best friend beat up his girlfriend, who is another friend of ours. He strangled her, punched her and left 6 huge bite marks on her neck and arms. Each bruise was about 5 inches in diameter. I have never seen anything like this in all my life.

The problem I am having in this situation is that my boyfriend seems to be on his side. He admits that what his friend did was wrong but is saying things along the lines of, it's her fault because she started it and she has to deal with the consequences. Basically, the boyfriend was high off coke and drunk so he passed out on the ground and she threw water on him and pounded on his chest to wake him up. This made him very angry and resulted in him attacking her.

I do not agree with my boyfriends decision to not only stay friends with, but be buddy buddy with him and hangout with him like nothing happened. My boyfriend is now starting fights with me because he says I am being too judgement and I cant expect people to be perfect. People make mistakes and we have to forgive them. It's been only 1 week. I am curious, what would you do in this situation?

I am staying out of the drama between the two of them however this has caused problems in my own relationship and I am questioning my boyfriends morals and values.

Extra details… we are both 26 and have been dating for a year and a half.

Him saying “it’s her fault” is your cue to get TF out if that relationship.

If he thinks violence is an acceptable answer to getting mad or having a fight then you run the risk of him getting violent with you. I think you should get out now.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has responded thus far. It helps to hear from other people that I am not crazy and what is happening is wrong. I really need to work up the courage to leave. Its difficult because this is the first and only relationship I have ever had and the only person I have ever loved but him and I are two very different people and I know that.

This is a huge red flag. By him siding with his friends he’s saying domestic abuse isn’t a problem. Even if he hasn’t been physical with you yet, it can still happen.

So, he hangs out and supports an addict who violently assaults his girlfriend and justifies it by saying she essentially had it coming? Walking into an occupied bathroom without knocking is a mistake. His friend could have killed that poor girl. Your boyfriend showed you where his values and morals lie and I have a feeling you already know just how askew they are. Get away from these people before you get hurt next.