Hi. Throwaway account for privacy.
My wife and I have been married for 2 years, together for many before then. She has always wanted us to get a cat as she loves them and always had them growing up. I am not much of an animal person. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment, and I had always maintained that I'd be OK with an animal once we owned a house (after I finished my post-doc and had a real job), but after years of subtle and not-so-subtle hints I finally gave in and we got one while still living in an apartment. This was 8 months ago.
We have an objectively great cat by any metric – never goes outside the box, loves people, etc etc. My wife is completely enamoured. But even so, I am at my wits end with this. Everything we own is clawed, I smell cat shit *constantly*, to the point where I'm pretty sure i either have the world's most sensitive nose or i'm actually having a breakdown. We can't even have our friends over to our home because they're allergic. I'm basically at the conclusion that I just straight up hate owning a cat.
I legitimately feel like my mental health is being destroyed by this cat, embarrassing as this is. I am just so *angryall the time. I hate the person that I've turned into. I feel like there's rage bubbling beneath the surface all the time and I keep snapping at my wife. It's really hurting our marriage. We don't have sex anymore. We don't talk anymore. All we do is work all day and fight about this cat all night.
I don't know what to do. I'm honestly feeling like our marriage is going to end because I can't get my shit together and learn to live with a god damn cat.
TL;DR – Wife loves our cat. I can't cope with pet ownership and am driving her away as a result.