I’ve already gone back to some pretty normal social stuff and it’s better than you think. You just fall into old habits. Actually, it’s harder than you think because you forget there’s still a virus and you should still socially distance
Not scared, but annoyed. There are a few reasons for this.
First, On March 15 when I was drinking with my friend and watching the governor close down restaurants, I made a promise to myself to come out better. This was something I always wanted to have an opportunity to do (i.e. catch up on life). I immediately made a list, stopped drinking for the time being and started doing everything I could for myself. It took 2 weeks to adjusts but now I am so close to completing all my short-term goals and thriving.
Second, I managed to cut out the bullshit from my life. I am not in my ideal career yet; however, I won’t be going back to that toxic hellhole restaurant I was at, and instead I will be working at the brewery while filing more job applications. I ghosted all the dramatic people from my life. I stopped using sex as a way to measure my self worth, and I just ignore the disparaging MassimoL comments. I dont want to have to lower myself again to placating a bunch of dipshits or listening to every armchair epidemiologist ejaculate whatever article headline they read. If I have to reenter the world to hear some story about Trump and/or Covid every three minutes, I tap out.
Third, I believe it is still too soon and there are going to be worse consequences. I cant argue it, but I feel like it is all economically driven. Many people are still struggling with isolation and the effects of being in their own head. A lot of people are struggling and are going to act out once everything comes back around. I’m worried for them.
In short, I am doing for myself what I was never able to and am not looking forward to changing that yet. I wish the best for everybody out there, and that includes health and safety.
Like I had any social life before…
I’ve been alone a lot, and I’m worried about dealing with people. I’m not looking forward to the sociaital bullshit again. I don’t want to go back to office speak. I want to have normal conversations with words like fuck and bullshit. I don’t want to go back to a world with people talking behind peoples backs, or me having to give details about my weekend to people I don’t like, or worrying if I’ve made too many trips to the bathroom, or if it’s the approved time I which I’m allowed to eat. I’ve been free of that and I don’t miss it.
When I’m allowed im going to hug everyone. I’ll have happy tears running down my face when that first pint is being poured at the pub.