[Serious] What ruined your innocence?

My nephew passing away from SIDS while I was babysitting him, I was 13

Being huddled under my bed late at night as a young child while hearing my parents scream and beat each other in arguments over bills, loans, and all the consequences of their stupid decisions

Farting blood and parents thinking I was ass raped then learning what ass rape was and having to convince them I was not, and learning it was just from bad fissures from wiping too hard

I was molested by my grandmothers boyfriend when I was in elementary school. Told her and my mom when I was 15 and they told me she was gonna send me to mental facility for lying. Well 10 years later, in January. Apparently he has also molested my little sister who is 11. My grandmother still thinks we are lying and believes him 100%.

unsupervised access to the internet from a very young age

Being homeless at 14 but honestly probably way before that. Grew up quicker than a child should have to

My parents gambling addiction. We lost our house and it forced me to leave school to get a job to help support them. I left when they continued to gamble and my sister started too. They deserve each other.

Asking too many questions too early in life and having an honest mother.

EDIT: To be fair to my mother, had she been less honest, I would have found a way to get my answers, anyway.

Probably my Auntie being murdered in her front lawn by a jealous ex. I wasn’t a witness. Attended the funeral tho and was not prepared for that amount of grief. I wasn’t traumatized towards funerals, but absolutely lost innocence. I was about 5 or 6.

Being molested in first grade by an older kid. Then having to testify in court. Had to go to mandated therapy and counseling afterword. Became an outcast at school. I went from being a confident and vibrant child to the withdrawn and quiet person I am today.

My deployment to Afghanistan.

Hearing on the news that my surf life saving coach just got 30 years in jail for being a pedo.

Never touched my brother and I but I kept asking questions to my mother until I found out what it all meant …
…. Oh my.

My mothers cancer diagnosis. Happened when i was around 13 i think, i can’t remeber of the top of my head

being brutally beaten (a few times unconscious) when i was 4, 5, 6

Back before liveleak there was a website called Ogrish. It had a banner with hands that had the fingers blown off with the tagline “can you handle reality?” A link on the side said “click here for sample video.” I think I was 12, so somewhere around 2002. I’d already seen porn, but this was on another level. Beheadings, suicides, just a bunch of graphic horrible death. I didn’t sleep for a few days and I was pretty traumatized. Wound up seeking this sort of content out for the next few years and it really desensitized me to violence. Super unhealthy, I don’t think I “got over it” until I was about 17 or 18.

Little me was like 12 or so. I was browsing files on the family computer and in the music folder was one titled ‘Bambi’.

​

It was not related at all to the cute classic movie with the deer.

The day my own father called me “fucking stupid”, asked if I needed meds, and then my mom came to defend me which resulted in her being slammed to the floor.

I remember going to the garage and getting his metal rake while my two sisters and brother cowered in the corner. My dad was always verbally and emotionally abusive, but that was the one (and only) time he ever laid hands on anyone. I walked back in the door screaming with tears in my eyes welding a giant metal rake I could hardly carry. I remember it was the first time I ever felt a cussword just roll off my tongue.

“I will fucking kill you if you touch mom one more time.”

Realistically I was 11 and couldn’t do shit, but his demeanor changed.

My sister’s and mom came to hold me back. I remember the look in my dad’s eyes. It was a mixture of “the fuck are you going to do” slowly followed by “oh shit I fucked up.” He just walked out the door, got in his car, and went to work. Just. Like. That. As all his kids were screaming in terror around their mother and his reaction was to run instead of stick around and resolve things.

That’s the day I vowed to never be a father like him. Now I got 3 happy kids – one of whom is a year from college – whom I vow to raise with nothing but love, respect, and understanding.

Edit: The replies of people experiencing somewhat of the same thing makes me sad, but it also makes me happy knowing I’m not alone. I hope each and every one of you has found a better life path that has led to happiness and the break of a bad cycle. Much love to all of you!

Also, I’m good now! Life is much better and my dad… well, he probably will die alone for his behavior, but “reap what you sow.”

Being abused for 8yrs of my life by my drug addicted father. I was exposed to so much because of his addiction, but I will thank the heavens everyday that rehab actually worked for him and he came back a completely different man and was a goodo father from then on. That man taught me a lot early, but then came back and not only made up for how he was, but continues to be the best dad and grandfather. He taught me one of the most valuable lessons that I desperately needed to learn: sometimes you need to sacrifice what I love most for those I love most. It could make all of the difference.

My own grandfather molesting me, my grandmother (his remarriage) covering for him when I told her in tears. An hour later I’m in the car with him being scolded for almost getting him in trouble. He took me into the forest for camping, I don’t think I need to finish my story for you to put it all together.

I was about five.

Being forced to make the call to pull the plug on my own mom after she shot herself in the head. She was my everything, I lived a very sheltered life before that. That night has forever played over and over with no change to the outcome. It definitely shattered me as a person. Approaching 5 years this October and still not a day I haven’t thought of it. If anyone else is a sos or considering please know you are so loved and wanted. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problems.