“If you look for the light, you will often find it. If you look for the darkness, thats all you’ll ever see.”
Its a quote from a cartoon, which may not be exactly what you’re looking for. But it helps me every time my mind gets away from me.
They broke down the math of all the harm it would do to the people around me and how much more of a burden I would be if I died than if I kept living. It was dark but I was also touched they mathed out the cost of my death.
Your son needs you.
To be honest I didn’t believe anything anyone said. Probably the best thing though was hearing that my pain would be given to my children. When you are that deep in it you truly believe everyone will be better off without you. If you or someone have made plans to take yours/their life I would highly suggest the suicide hotline. You are worth it.
I was studying for med school at the time and really badly failed one of the mock exams. I spiralled out into severe depression cause I felt like I had failed everyone including myself and that I will never be good enough. This came after a massive career change from engineering to medicine so I already had residual feelings of inadequacy since “ I couldn’t make it as an engineer”. My mom simply refused to leave my side and took me away from it all and took a bit of time off work and spend 3 days just making my favourite foods and reminding me of how much everyone loved me and how much progress I had made in the past few years