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What is a toxic behavior that is disguised as virtue?

Grand “romantic” gestures. I teach high school and it’s crazy how many times you see a kid basically bully their crush into being with them. They make this huge public display and the kid is too shy to say no in front of everyone. It’s embarrassing and distressing for that poor kid.

Whataboutism. It’s a pitiful attempt to deflect or excuse your own toxic behaviour on the basis that it’s either justified by someone else’s behaviour, or, because of a hypothetical situation that doesn’t exist.

Over-the-top kindness often masks agenda. Charisma goes a long way toward hiding darker traits.

Not being honest with people solely to make them feel good. It’s kinda 50/50 with this one, if they need the boost then maybe but overall it’s generally a bad move.

I think the opposite also exists. One example of this is gossip. People love to say that they hate gossip, but in reality it’s part of what makes us human. Gossip that is untruthful is harmful, but the rest isn’t that bad. For example, if someone tells you that a person they had to work with was lazy and didn’t do their part, that saves you from having to go through that yourself.

Sorry for the off topic response, but it was the only thing that came to mind.