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You have to hunt down and kidnap your doppelganger. He looks, smells, thinks, and acts exactly like you. How do you lure yourself?

Disco Hookers and cocaine. I can’t resist either.

Compliment him and start talking to him about things he loves(catfish him)He’ll be so exited he finally found someone near that wants to talk to him. Then I’d meet up, reveal it was a trick, and he’d be so sad that he won’t be at full strength

“Here’s the smallest, most insignificant form of love and affection” then they would never let go of me

I show up with a pizza, a bag of yarn, and a couple of pints of ice cream, point out that we’d really enjoy hanging out together, and invite her over. Sounds fun.

Go to his house… 99% chance he is chilling there. Easy pickings. As long as our bad knee doesn’t buckle on the stairs