Relazioni e amore

My (21F) boyfriend (19M) accused me of ‘emotional cheating’ with his friend but i don’t think i was. Was I?

esoteric_enigma ci racconta la sua esperienza:

EDIT: Not sure why the age is a massive issue? We started dating at 17 and 19. I had just turned 19 (September) and he was turning 18 4 months after that. We were in the same school, a year below. We are not from the USA so we stayed in college/school until 18 and then went to university.

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. This is a new situation that has come up in our relationship.

In this past relationship, his girlfriend cheated on him with his closest friend (they were basically family), despite him telling her his boundaries about talking to that specific friend. I supported him as a friend through this situation.

He has the same boundary for me, which I have followed for 2 years now. Any conversation i have ever had with this friend (in person) has been very cut short and blunt and i have never contacted him on any social media whatsoever. My boyfriend has my full permission to check if I have any DMS with this person, without there being any agreements or loss of trust.

Now, he has another friend who we’ll call G. G is one of his other very close friends, he is very polite and respectful of our relationship and has never done anything to compromise it or cross anyone’s boundaries. Me and G have like a sibling type relationship where we sometimes (not often) joke around and bully each other. We also talk about my relationship and how much I adore him. G is a trusting friend who I can go to if i’m in need of advice (not relationships or anything overly personal) and my boyfriend is unavailable. I have zero romantic feelings towards him. Whenever I have a conversation with him on social media, I always show my boyfriend what we have talked about or tell him the details so he doesn’t get left in the dark or feel betrayed.

I also give him permission to look through my dms with G (he never has but knows if he needs to, he can).

He is now comparing me to his ex-girlfriend, saying that I am crossing his boundaries and basically cheating. His boundaries only ever stated not to talk to that ONE friend of his, not G. Is this really considered emotional cheating?

tldr; i am good friends with one of my boyfriends friends but he is accusing me of basically emotionally cheating due to a boundary he has about me not talking to a completely different friend. is it emotional cheating?

Why is he still friend with the friend his ex cheated on in the first place?

Your boyfriend needs to talk to someone to work through his insecurities instead of managing them by controlling you. He shouldn’t tell you who you can/can’t be friends with. If he can’t trust his partner because of what his exes have done he shouldn’t be dating until he works through that.

His friend fucked his ex girlfriend. That should be a problem he has with his friend, not you. It’s weird, insecure, and controlling to be checking all of your messages with his friends. He needs to find a way to get over that shit. This isn’t your problem, it’s his.