Relazioni e amore

UPDATE Should I [30F] tell my brother [34M] that he’s gone viral? His ex-wife [30F] published a popular article about how shitty he is.

throwaway10100099 ci racconta la sua esperienza:

Here's the original:

As positive an update as there can be! My brother (aka Jim), his wife (aka April), and I video chatted a couple of days ago now. Long story short: they already knew, and he's toughing it out like a champ. They've been showered with support from all sides, which probably makes him more uncomfortable than ever, but he seems to at least appreciate the good intentions.

We took a couple minutes alone, and Jim seems more worried about the extra stress this inevitably puts on April than about himself, for better or worse. He told me he knows that it's all bull, and that it doesn't feel quite real. I flailed around trying to ask him to please call if that ever changes, since I can reality-check with him from the Era of Eve the Ex. I hope he would, though I'm not sure how realistic it is to expect that or to assume that he wasn't just putting a rosy lens on it for me.

April was able to tell him first. One of Jim's friends called her soon after the article caught fire to check on them. She looked it up and talked to him right away. It's no one's first experience with Eve's choices, unfortunately. April's amazing, and there really couldn't be anyone better to process this with him.

They ended the call because the kids were climbing him like a jungle gym begging to play Legos, so they're already doing a great job helping him focus on the things that matter.

Thank you again for all your help, good redditors!

TL/DR: My brother's wife had already talked with him, and they're both tough stuff in the face of adversity. Hooray for family!

EDIT: This isn't a parable about how poor, innocent men constantly have their lives ruined by horrible women through random accusations of assault. That parable is a bullshit narrative concocted by cis, straight men who don't know how to cope with company at the top of the hill. This just happened to be the situation we were in. Needed to say that. Cheers!

EDIT 2: Ooh, instant hate mail. (Seriously, MassimoL?)

What a lovely update! Thank you for posting this 🙂 it’s good to hear your brother has a good support network including you!

I’ve had people spread nasty rumors about me. The truth is that people like Eve tend to overplay their hand, and work a little too hard to get their side of the story out.

I was young and thought I needed to share my side, but I didn’t want to get into a back and forth and the crazy people who lie always win at being louder.

So I said nothing, and waited (on the advice of people smarter than me) and people eventually figured out what kind of person the rumor-spreader was, and saw them do the same thing to other people. So, my name was cleared with no effort on my part, and I seemed much more believable because I hadn’t run out in an effort to clear my name and engage in the he said/she said

I’ve seen it work since then too. A boss accused me something horrible and career ruining. There is a legal battle, so I’m not saying ANYthing back, or commenting on it anywhere public. Meantime, she’s free to blackball me all around town.

Well…a few more years she was fired for misconduct, and then fired from her next job too. Now she’s totally out of the field, and I look like the patient saint who let the storm blow over without stooping to her level.

Your brother sounds awesome. Tell him to keep on keeping on, and Eve will dig her own grave.

Really wonderful that he’s receiving such support! Thanks for the update.

Good update! So happy your brother is doing well and “weathering the storm” so to speak

Wow. I’m frankly blown away by the edit you added calling out harmful narratives. I didn’t even realize it needed to be said until I read it. Thank you for being part of the solution.