Relazioni e amore

My (23F) mom (54F) says it is going to ruin our relationship if I dont shave.

Imagine that, a woman body shaming another woman, her own daughter, of all people.

She’s being ridiculous but if that’s the hill she wants to die on, let her. Hopefully at some point she will come around and realize how stupid this all is.

This is a stupid hill for her to die on.

Take a break from her? See if she really thinks body hair is that important after not seeing her daughter for a while.

I’ve dealt with something similar with my mom for like 6 years. It took me saying “this isn’t up for debate and I’m never going to talk about it with you ever again” and then literally ending the convo or physically leaving if it was brought up. I think you should stick to your guns and leave. If you cave on this, it’s setting a precedent of bullshit.

Being hairy makes me happy too! Solidarity!

My fiancé and I had an argument about cheese once. Basically, I took some cheese and put it in the shopping cart, and he took it out and put it back in the cheese display. I told my therapist it was stupid to have an argument about cheese. She told me it’s not about the cheese.

It’s about control.

Can I buy cheese on my own? Or does he get a say in whether I can buy cheese or not?

In your case, it’s not about body hair. It’s about whether you get control over your body or not.

You’re not arguing about body hair. You are arguing about whether she gets to tell you how you must groom yourself.

You are an adult. She can try, but how you respond determines what shenanigans she will try to pull for the rest of your life.

“I’m not arguing about body hair, mom. I’m taking a stand as to who is in control of my grooming decisions. Grandma doesn’t decide your hygiene and you don’t decide mine. The end. If you decide I can’t come on the boat because of that, that’s on you.”

*Edit: awkward wording

I just came here to say I also stopped shaving my legs and armpits. It’s been about two years since I have. I have such sensitive skin, that when I did shave, my legs would break out in whiteheads and awful bumps and my armpits would be so itchy that I couldn’t stand it. I’d rather hear people ask why I had hairy legs than ask “What’s wrong with your legs?!” or “What attacked you?!”

I’ve come to love the gasps and shocked looks that old ladies give me when I walk around in shorts. I love challenging what people think makes someone feminine. Also, I hated spending so much money and time on shaving my legs. Your mom’s a bit of an ass and seems to have some deep issues with her own image and femininity. I sincerely hope she can grow and learn.

Let those legs hairs live baby! If you’re comfortable, that’s all that matters! Shut down people who are trying to make you feel ashamed. Women’s bodies are beautiful and wonderful exactly how they are!