I have been seeing this guy for the last two months. We met at work and have been hitting things off (we have been going on dates, chatting through texts and calls). Anyway, last week I told him that I wanted to be exclusive with him and he said he would rather have an open relationship. As you would imagine I was mad and confused, as he had never indicated that this is the direction he wanted to go these last two months and it's not what I want to do right now.
We ended up not talking for two days, I just assumed it was over at that point. He then texted me to say that he would like to talk more about the situation: all of a sudden he wanted to be exclusive (eventually) but is just not ready yet. So then I asked him where does that leave me? And told him that as long as he wants an open relationship, I am not willing to try. Two months is more than enough time to gauge if you would like to be exclusive or not. He then said the reason why he wants to have an open relationship is that his ex gf cheated on him, and he thought it would be easier. At this point I didn't know what to say and just left him on read to think. Fast forward yesterday and he sent me a message saying that he wants to be exclusive and that he really really wants to try.
EDIT: Thank you everyone for your responses. I know and value you myself too much to stick around this nonsense. I am “leaving” him and have asked him to not contact me again. It will be awkward once we go back to the office, but it doesn't matter.
TL;DR Guy I am dating said he wants an open relationship, then changed his mind to not ready and now wants to be exclusive.
EDIT: You know reading everyone’s comments I am starting to think maybe he was the one who cheated on his ex, and that he is trying to justify it this time by wanting an open relationship.
Thank you everyone for your response. I am moving on and “leaving” him.
He stated what he wanted. It wasn’t what you wanted to hear (and that sucks) BUT it IS what he wanted.
I think you’ve got to be ok with that or move on. I don’t. think a person suddenly wants to be exclusive overnight.
Easier for whom?
If he’s treating you based on how his last gf behaved he’s maybe not ready to seriously date again. If he’s not ready to be exclusive, then he’s not ready. If that’s not ok with you, let him know he can reach out when he’s carrying less baggage from his ex and you can see where you’re at.
He wants to be exclusive until he can convince you to have an open relationship.
If a guy dated me for 2 months and still wants an open relationship, it not going to work between us.
Honestly just pulling you on a leash for two months then nonchalantly mentioning wanting an open relationship is enough grounds to break it off. An open relationship idea needs to be mentioned before so much time has been invested.
If a guy likes me enough to have a relationship with me, but is okay with me sleeping with other guys, then he doesn’t get the title of my guy.