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Roommate is interested in me and said I can’t have guys over

Laniekea ci racconta la sua esperienza:

I just moved into this new apartment with three roommates. My one roommate, we'll call him Ryan. Ryan was pretty interested in me from the start and is someone who is looking for a serious relationship. I just got out of a serious relationship and told him that I needed some time before I could even consider dating again.

He agreed that I needed time and said he was okay with it. After spending time around him and trying to be interested in him, I decided that my feelings were never going to change and that I only see him as a roommate. We never did anything together besides cuddle awkwardly once. I've wanted to experience dating different guys for some time now and really want to be able to bring a guy over to hang out with in my room. I wouldn't hang out with him in common areas and I would be 100% respectful.

The only problem is, he told my roommate that he doesn't want any guys I'm talking to over and almost kicked me out because he thought I was talking to other guys.. I don't want to become homeless because I invited a guy over but I also don't want to not be allowed to bring guys over that I'm interested in. When he thought that I was talking to other guys, he tried to sleep with one of my roommates friends in my bed and didn't end up sleeping with her only because she didn't want to. Am I the asshole?

TL;DR Roommate is interested in me however I am not interested in him and he doesn't want me to bring guys over to our apartment.

  1. who is on the lease? Who is the landlord? What is the legal eviction process where you live?
  2. Ryan is an asshole who has decided that of he can’t have you no one can. He can’t decide that you can’t have guys over like that. Unfortunately it sounds like you may need to ensure your property is locked in your room. I would find a new place to live if possible.

Is that an agreed-upon rule across the board for all roommates having hook-ups over, or does it just apply to you? If he thinks he can apply this rule just to you, you can just tell him to fuck right off.

Ryan sounds shitty and controlling. What do the other roommates think? Does he get to control who they bring over? Does he have the power to actually kick you out, or will he just throw a tantrum?

You might just need to find a new place to live.

Find a new place to live ASAP. You don’t want to live with this guy no matter what.

Just play it cool until you find a suitable place. Once you’re moved out and have your security deposit back, feel free to tell any mutual friends.

Your story makes me feel super unsafe. I would find another place to live if I was you, because I feel his controlling behaviour won’t stop there. What’s the next thing he will threaten you to kick you out ? Since you’re not on the lease, you are free to leave at any moment, and sooner the better.